Bedtime Stories with R.A. Spratt

Chapters 9, 10 and 11 - The Peski Kids 5

May 31, 2023 R.A. Spratt Season 7 Episode 5
Bedtime Stories with R.A. Spratt
Chapters 9, 10 and 11 - The Peski Kids 5
Show Notes Transcript

Dad is excited to get Dame Bronwyn's autograph. Fin gets to work on the giant potato. And Loretta races Pumpkin for the local paper so she can find out who her competition is.

Support the show at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/storiesraspratt

Support the show

For information about live shows use this link... https://raspratt.com/live-shows/

To buy one of my books use this link... https://amzn.to/3sE3Ki2

Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome to Bedtime Stories with me, a Ra Sprt . Okay, so we are reading through my book, the Pesky Kids five, the final mission, and we are currently up to chapter nine, the list. So let's get into it. Here we go. When the pesky got home, Joe and Loretta helped Finn up to his room. Meanwhile, dad had rushed off to his office. Mom knew Finn was okay, but she wasn't sure about dad's erratic behavior, so she followed him. What are you doing? Ask Mom . She was bemused by the man her husband had become. He was still the same old Harold, but he was also different. He was still weakened, even more cowardly, but she couldn't predict what he was gonna say or do anymore. Sometimes he seemed to have totally disconnected himself from reality. It was no surprise really. It was probably a self-defense mechanism. Mom felt bad when she met him. Dad had been charming in a shy way. She had done the damage that turned him into this. Mom was a trained operative. She was used to crushing people. Sometimes she crushed them psychologically, sometimes physically once she'd even crushed someone with a steamroller. But those were wicked people doing damage to international institutions and world peace. They deserved it. She had crushed dad's fragile grasp on sanity and he'd been a nice man, like an innocent bystander on the footpath. Who gets wiped out when a cop car jumps the curb in a high speed police chase? I can't believe she's coming here to Ko Wong . Dad gushed excitedly. He was in his office flicking through books from the bookcase. What are you looking for? Asked mom . The Bible said Dad. Mum was shocked. Dad had never been very religious. Was this another thing she didn't know about him? Aha . Exclaimed dad. He'd spotted something on the top shelf. Dad reached up, but he wasn't tall enough. He put his foot on the bottom shelf and stepped up. The bookcase started to teeter forward. Precariously Harold , be careful. Warn mum . Dad grabbed the book he wanted with his fingertips and pulled it out. A shower of other books fell and hit him on the head, but dad barely noticed he jumped down and the bookcase totted back into its original upright position. Mum breathed a sigh relief. This is it. So Dad, he was holding a small green book that doesn't look like a Bible, said Mom . It's the Bible of potato growing , said dad. He was beaming a smile of pure, unadulterated joy. Dame Bronwyn wrote this book 40 years ago. It's a work of genius. Her insights into tubers are unparalleled to this day. He opened the book and flicked through it. Mom could see they were highlighted in underlying sections. Many pages were dog-eared. It had clearly been read many times. I can't believe she's coming here. Do you think she'll sign it for me? It would be such an honor. Mom watched dad's face flicker between hope and anxiety like a little boy about to go and tell Santa what he wanted for Christmas. I'm pretty sure she will sign it, said , mom , I doubt she gets hounded by autograph hunters. Oh, I hope your right said dad optimistically, but she should be hounded really as mom . She was naturally suspicious. So I might leap to the possibility that dad knew something about her dark past. Oh, yes, said Dad. Her work is so brilliant. If there was a Nobel Prize for horticulture, she would've wanted hands down. Oh , said Mom , you think I'm exaggerating? Said Dad. Suddenly serious. But you shouldn't underestimate the importance of the potato to international security. What said mom ? Her heart sank. If dad thought potatoes were involved in international relations, then he was clearly even nuttier than he looked. Food security is the most essential public service. Every government must ensure to maintain the welfare and morale of their people. Said Dad, the Russian revolution was triggered by lack of bread. The French rose up when Mary Antoinette told them to eat cake, and the Irish mass migrated because of the potato famine. Mum's brow furrowed. Perhaps she was the one losing her grip. What dad was saying to her actually made some sense. Effective agricultural practices. It ensure food security said Dad and food security is the most essential type of security society needs, which is why Dame Bronwyn is so important as mum . Her potato is a modern marvel, said Dad. The Bronwyn Brown is drought tolerant, flood tolerant, rust resistant and bug repelling . It's a super spud right? Said Mom . She was starting to swing back to her initial opinion that dad was barking. She'd have to sort this mess out alone. I'm gonna need a computer to do some work. Do you still have that old desktop, the one you did your master on? Oh, yes, said Dad. Great said Mom . I'll use that. If you tell me where it is, I'll be able to sort it out myself. You can get on with your work here. It's out on the lawn and said, dad. What? Said mom . Finn made it into a water feature. Said Dad, for my aquaponics pond, I use it to cycle fertilized water through my hydroponic setup . In my glasshouse, dad pointed out the window to the water feature in the garden. Water was cascading over the old desktop into an antique bathtub. It's in a pond as mom . What about all the information on the hard drive? Well, that won't have been ruined by the pond said dad. It won't said mom . No. The hard drive would've been ruined by the fire. The fall from the second story window and the water Joe doused it with to put it all out, said, dad, you burned, smashed and soaked it as mum . She was starting to go white with shock. All her secrets had been hidden in that computer. Even the ones she kept from Maynard. Oh, but don't worry, said Dad. I've got a printout of the database you had hidden inside. Dad went over to his desk, slid open the bottom drawer and pulled out a ward of old dot matrix printed paper. Is this what you want? You found my secret database asked Mom . Yes . So dad. Well, me and Ingrid, Ingrid. Mom was done to yell. Now you let her see this. So Swedish intelligence knows every name on that list. I suppose they would if Ingrid told them, said dad. Of course they would yelled Mom , she's a Swedish operative, but anyone could have this list said dad. In fact, everyone in Keong does. What on earth are you talking about? Said mom . The database said, dad, it's just a list of residents of Keong . It's the same information you could get from the Keong phone directory. Now, mum's jaw dropped open and she turned pale as if she was stunned to go into shock. What are you saying? Dad laid the printout across his forearm and started flicking through the pages with his other hand. See if yourself said, dad. The database is half the residents of Ang . The names are wrong, but the photos are clear enough. Andre Blakk is Mr. Popov , the kid's PE teacher. And Marsha Divine is the cat lady. Mom looked at the page's. Dad held up Harold. I spent seven years building this list. I broke into archives, computer systems, and top secret buildings all across Europe, the Middle East and South America to put together this information. It is not a list of kwong residents. It was a list of all the top international operatives who've gone missing in the last 50 years. Well, why are they all here in Carl Wong ? Our dad . Mom shook her head. I don't know . There must be some mistakes, said dad, unless he looked up suddenly. What? Ask mom . Unless they all really like potatoes said dad. Mom would've laughed except dad was apparently being sincere. Yeah, I'm guessing it's something else. And that is the end of chapter nine, but let's keep going and read. Chapter 10, resurrection Action . After school, Finn was well enough to work on the potato again. He'd learned from his previous overconfidence. This time he invited Neil over to help him. Like Finn. Neil was very good at fixing things. Although Neil's ability to fix things tended to be more practical, he could build a rainproof ch feeder out of two buckets and some bail entwine. Whereas Finn's ability to fix things was more creative. He could design a tribu that would fire pumpkins all the way to Bill Gong . The first thing the boys did was give up trying to move the potato by hand. Neil brought an old tractor he'd found in the back paddock of his grandmother's farm. It was so old you couldn't tell how old it was because all the labeling had long ago rusted over. It had sat disused in the cat lady's field for a decade before Neil decided to get it going again. The tractor moved very slowly and with a lot of Jing, but it did move. Neil was rather proud of his wheels. No other 13 year old in Keong had their own vehicle. Admittedly, it wasn't technically roadworthy or registered, but if Neil ever spotted Constable Pike when he was riding it, he'd simply drive the tractor up onto the nature strip and pretend to be mowing the lawn. Neil was so quiet and potato faced that Constable Pike never thought of suspecting him of doing anything more. Neil drove the tractor up the driveway and across Mr. Penske's beautiful lawn causing irreparable damage to the turf in the process by gouging long tire tracks through the soft grass, Finn directed him into position, get Enil to draw the tractor up so that the front bumper was right up against the giant potato. Even though the potato was huge and the tractor was small, the tractor easily won the encounter. It moves slowly, but with great talk rolling the potato inch by inch into Mr. Pensky's massive shed. Finn had got his dad to park the helicopter outside to make room for it. Now what? Ask Neil as he shut off the engine and climbed down from the driver's seat. Now we get to work set Finn, and that's a big repair job. Observe Neil . There was a huge dent where the potato had been hit by a bus and a huge hole where the potato had been impaled. Byt Rex . Oh, we are not gonna repair this potato set . Finn , we're not as Neil . No said Finn with a gleam in his eye. We're gonna improve it. How? Ask Neil . You'll see said Finn . He started to laugh. Maniacally . Neil looked at his friend with concern. He hoped it was just the concussion talking and Finn hadn't actually gone potty. Okay, well that was the end of chapter 10, but we haven't been going for long, so let's have one more chapter. Let's move on to chapter 11. The names Joe could not sleep. It was only 5:00 AM barely starting to get light outside, but he was lying in bed wide awake. For most people, insomnia is a symptom of stress. Anxious thoughts keeping you from drifting into slumber. Joe certainly had a lot to be anxious about. His mother was an incredibly dangerous international super spy, hunted by some of the most ruthless regimes in the world. His sister had rage issues. His brother had recently been injured by a giant potato. Any of these things would be a cause for concern, but that is not why Joe lay awake. This morning. Joe was awake because he was hungry. He was very large for a 15 year old, six foot three now, and he got a lot of exercise both through playing sport and ev evading the amiss attacks of Daisy Odin's Statter . His growing body just burned through food by four o'clock in the morning. It was demanding more fuel at this painfully early hour. Every morning, Joe was dragged from the depths of slumber by his stomach's rumbling demands. Joe felt bad that he ate so much. His dad was not a wealthy man and cost aside Joe sometimes unwittingly ate so much there was little left for everyone else. April could get really angry if the only thing left for her breakfast was lentils. So Joe tried to hold out as long as possible before creeping from his bed and sneaking downstairs for a snack. And Joe's idea of a snack meant a meal the size you would usually feed a horse or a preh. Hibernation bear. It's hard to sneak when you're six foot three and weigh 85 kilograms, especially in an old farmhouse where every floorboard has its own unique creaky spot. 80 April usually slept dead to the world, but pumpkin was a dog and therefore had really good hearing. Plus pumpkin rarely slept at all. Jane knew April would never give her dog coffee. She loved animals too much for that, but pumpkin always acted like he'd drunk a whole jug of super strength espresso. The little dog was permanently wired and ready to explode into action. Joe did not want to wake him. If pumpkin woke up, he'd wake April up. Then April would start yelling at him for eating too much food. Never tasted as good as you had to eat it while being yelled at. Once he got downstairs, Joe felt pretty safe. There was a carpet in the hallway. He patted quickly to the kitchen. He was starving. He'd start with a pint of milk and four slices of toast. Then take it from there. Joe flicked on the lights and then he screamed who Loretta was sitting at the kitchen counter nibbling on a bagel and drinking a cup of coffee. Good morning, said Loretta brightly. In the distant reaches of the attic, Joe heard the sound of pumpkin yapping. He's slumped. They had about 45 seconds before April would appear and start abusing them. What are you doing up ? Ask Joe . It's announcement day said Loretta. Joe didn't respond verbally. He just looked back at her bewildered. The nominees for the potato princess will be printed in today's local paper. Explain Loretta. Oh, so Joe , he thought about this for a moment. Is there a local paper? Of course. Silly said. Loretta, every house in Kwong has one delivered to the door once a week. I've never seen one said Joe. No, agreed. Loretta. Well, you may have done, but you wouldn't have recognized it. Pumpkin has been eating them now. Joe was more confused, but he's such a tiny dog. True. Agreed. Loretta to be strictly accurate, pumpkin runs around the garden, savage in the newspaper, generally tearing it to shreds and slobbering all over it. Oh, said Joe . Is that what the confetti on the lawn every Wednesday morning is? Yes . Settle Loretta , which is why I'm up early to make sure I get to it before him this morning. I can't wait to see who my competition is. They could hear the scratchy scrambling of pumpkin's, toenails as he scampered down the stairs. Uhoh . So Joe, he's coming now. Joe Cha . Loretta, you shouldn't be scared of such a sweet little dog. You are the one who's up early to beat him to the paper. Joe pointed out, I admire his enthusiasm, said Loretta. So few people are interested in old-fashioned physical newspapers these days. Pumpkin burst into the room yapping. Good morning sweetheart. Said Loretta Ben in to give the little dog a pat. Pumpkin jumped up, pour at Loretta stool , desperate to have his ears scratched. But then suddenly Pumpkin's head spun around and he froze. What is it us , Loretta? Do you hear something? Then they could all hear it. The distance sound of footsteps crunching on the gravel driveway. Pumpkins started barking wildly. So he ran for the front door quick. Cried . Loretta rushing after the dog. We can't let pumpkin get to him first, but the front door shut said Joe . Loretta didn't slow. Joe followed her just in time to see April opening the front door. Do you wanna go out for your morning pee pee ? April was talking to pumpkin. No cried Loretta. But the door had already opened a few inches and that was all pumpkin needed. He tripped away down the path. Loretta raced after him. What's going on? Asked April. What's Loretta got against a dog peeing? Explaining the sex . Said Joe before bolting down the driveway. After Loretta and the dog up ahead, a delivery man wearing a high vis yellow shirt was reaching into his big shoulder bag for a copy of the newspaper. Watch out. Joe yelled in . Warning the delivery man looked up to see a startlingly beautiful girl, hurtling and straight for him. It was another second before he noticed the tiny dog speeding ahead of her. The hesitation was costly. He didn't have enough time to turn and run like a deer froze in the headlights of an oncoming truck. The panicked paperman froze. Pumpkin let up at him, appearing to go for the jugular. Something April had been trying to train her dog to do, but instead snatching the local paper. Added the delivery man's hand as he raised it up. Protectively in front of his face. Ah , cried the delivery man. Quick run for it. Urge Joe while he's still busy. Pumpkin was gallivanting across the lawn , shaking the newspaper side to side. Loretta chased after him, which pumpkin thought made everything even more fun. Come on sweetheart. Give the paper to Auntie Loretta. I'll buy you a T-bone steak. My dog won't be bribed. Yelled April. She was standing on the front porch for the house because she didn't have any shoes on. He's got too much integrity. But I need to read the paper, said Loretta ducking in and weaving around the flower beds and trying to catch pumpkin. I need to know how to prepare myself for the psychological warfare at school. It's okay . Called Joe . I've got a copy. Loretta looked up to see Joe standing further down the driveway over a bright yellow shoulder back . The delivery man had abandoned it in his bid to escape unscathed. Joe reached down and grabbed a fresh copy. I hope he doesn't mind if we take an extra one. Serves him right for abandon in his job set . April, people have no respect for duty anymore. Joe picked up the rest of the shoulder bag too. Oh , I'll deliver the rest for him after breakfast. It was nice to be helpful, but never at the expense of good nutrition. All right , well we'll leave it there. Um, well , I don't think I've got any messages or news this week, but I hope you enjoyed this week's episode. And until next time, goodbye .