Bedtime Stories with R.A. Spratt

Friday Barnes and The Case Where Binky Cheated

April 29, 2020 R.A. Spratt Season 1 Episode 10
Bedtime Stories with R.A. Spratt
Friday Barnes and The Case Where Binky Cheated
Show Notes Transcript

When Binky gets accused of cheating in a physics exam, he has no idea what happened, so he rushes to Friday Barnes to solve the mystery before he is suspended by the Headmaster.

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R.A. Spratt:   0:00
Hello and welcome to bedtime storiess with R.A. Spratt. Today's tory is 'Friday Barnes and the Case Where Binky Cheated'. Here we go... 

R.A. Spratt:   0:18
Ah, there you are! Exclaimed Binky. Melanie and Friday turned to see Binky Pelly, Melanie's older brother, jogging towards them. He was a tall, strong boy and always very amiable, if not quick witted. Hello, Binky, said Melanie. Were you looking for us? Well, it's nice to see you, Mel, said Binky, but I was actually looking for Friday. I've got myself in a spot of bother again, said Melanie Sympathetically. Behnke knotted. I've Bean accused of cheating in an exam. There's a meeting with the headmaster at two o'clock to decide whether or not I'm going to get suspended. Did you cheat as Friday? Oh, goodness knows that Binky. I wouldn't know how to go about it. I suppose I could write notes on my palm, but my palms always sweat so much during an exam. They just come right off. Who's accusing? You? Asked Friday. That's just the thing, said, thinking Mr Culpepper, the physics teacher, didn't have a problem with my result. But when the head of science department found out what I'd scored. He accused me of cheating. What did you get us? Friday? 100% said Binky. I got every answer, right? How on earth did you manage that? Ask Melanie. Are you secretly good at physics? Oh, gosh, No, not at all, Said Binky. I never would have agreed to study the subject if I'd known what it was all about. What did you think physics was about last Friday on the subject's election form they gave me When I read physics. I just assumed it was an abbreviation for physical education, said Pinky. I like that. I'm much better at running around catching things, and I am it understanding the fundamental laws of science. Ironically, ball sports involve an enormous amount of practically applied physics, said Friday. So actually, you instinctively understand this subject better than you realise I do, said Binky. That's nice. Thanks Friday, I feel rather chuffed to know that well done, Binky, said Melanie, who was very fond of her brother. Hey, you don't think I'm so good that I actually got all the answers right? Because I knew what I was doing? Asked Pinky. I wouldn't go that far, said Friday. Mr Calvo says notoriously difficult physics exams. He almost caught me out with one of his questions until I realised he'd made a typo and he met F when he typed E, which would have caused been disastrous in reality because energy would have been force a totally different thing. But when everything is comfortably theoretical, what's one mistyped letter between lovers of physics? I'm afraid I didn't follow a word you just said, Sir Pinky, My fault, I digress, said Friday. Tell me what sort of exam? Wasit. There's only one kind, isn't there? Said Binky. Ah, horrible one. No, I mean, was it a practical exam essay? Short answer or multiple choice? Asked Friday. Oh, multiple choice, said Binky, which is always my favourite. I like colouring in the little ovals. Find it very satisfying. Reminds me of kindergarten. Then it could have been luck, said Friday. Perhaps through sheer chance, you guessed all the correct answers. How many questions? Whether on the paper? Ask Melanie, 20 said Binky. How many do you think you got right through knowing the answer? Asked Friday. Absolutely none, said Binky. I couldn't understand a word of it. The languages all gobbledygook to May, when I could understand the words, I couldn't understand why anyone would be interested in the answer. There were all these questions about trains travelling at different speeds in different directions and where they'd end up at certain times. I mean, if I wanted to know that I wouldn't do a son, I just go on us. The stationmaster very wise, knotted Melanie. How did the other students go? Ask Friday about what you might expect, said Binky. Most people got between four and 17. Arts is right. Except you said Melanie. Yes, me and Henrietta Callow said Binky. What did she get? Asked Friday, 20 out of 22 said Banky, Was she sitting next to you? Asked Friday. Did she copy your paper? No. She was on the far side of the room towards the front, said Binky. There's no way she could have seen anything on my desk. Did you copy her eyes? Melanie, Obviously not meaning to. But perhaps the exam was so boring. You fell asleep and did a little sleep walking. Nothing of the kind, said Binky, although I did see Henrietta not off for a while, But she definitely didn't walk anywhere and they think she cheated to ask Friday the Mr Spiteri, the head of science, is sure of. It's a binky. She's not as dim as me, but she's much lazier. There's no way she get all those answers right through hard work and understanding things I want to see, the papers said Friday. There must be an explanation for these peculiar, exemplary results. Mr. Spiteri was not happy to see Friday. The only thing a teacher hated more than a dimwitted student was one who was brighter than them. What do you want? Ms Barnes asked Mr Spiteri. And why are the two Pel e's here? I'd like to see the physics paper that Binky is accused of cheating on set Friday, accused said Mr Spiteri. So you think I'm a liar? That's quite a leap in reason. In set Friday, I'd expect better from a scientist. There's a wide variety of possibilities that allow for Binky to have not cheated, and you two have not lied, so you're not calling me a liar, said Mr Spiteri. But you're saying I have poor scientific thinking. Melanie lean closer to Friday and said, I think you're getting off on the wrong foot. I'm not saying you're incapable of scientific reasoning, said Friday. I'm saying your emotions currently seem to be clouding your scientific reasoning. Is she helping my case, Pinky as Melanie? Not yet, said Melanie. I'm not showing a year seven girl my exam paper just so she can undermine my disciplines that Mr Spiteri. But if you're wrong, said Friday, surely you'd like to know. Actually, I don't think he would, said Melanie. No one ever likes to know that. Just get out. All three of you, said Mr Spiteri. And don't think you can get away with your rudeness. I'm going to send a note to the headmaster detail in your behaviour. All the headmaster is well aware of how route Friday's said Melanie, get out, said Mr Spiteri. That didn't go well, said Friday. As you stepped out into the corridor, I don't know, said Blinky. I'm grateful that you took some of the head off me by getting yourself in trouble. Don't worry, said Melanie. Friday rubs people up the wrong way all the time, but she always figures it all out. In the end, after she's heard everyone's feelings, you know, if all you want is a copy of the exam paper, said Binky. I've got one, but I don't know what the answers are meant to be because I handed in my answer sheet. That's all right, said Friday. If you show me the paper, I'll be able to work that out Friday. Or Melanie went with Binky back to his own room because he was in your 12 he had a room to himself. It was surprisingly neat and well ordered. I hadn't expected you to be so tidy, Binky observed Friday. I have to be said Pinky got a terrible memory. I can't remember where anything is. Otherwise, Binky went over to the desk and dug out a purple folder. Purple is for physics because they both start with P, said Binky. He open the folder and fished out the exam paper, handing it to Friday. She scanned the first few pages. This looks like fun. There's, um, most tricky questions here. Friday took a pen out of a pocket and sat down at his desk. Just give me a minute to shout out the answers a minute, said Binky. It was a two hour exam. You'll never get it done. in a minute Friday had already tuned Binky. Indeed, the rest of the world out, she was 100% concentrated on something she knew so well the realm of physics. Mr. Cooper's questions were actually a lot more challenging than she'd expected. Most of them required university level understanding of the subject, and several of them would have stumped doctoral candidates. So it actually took Friday seven minutes to complete the paper. I'm surprised, said Friday. It's crazy that the teacher says such a hard paper. Mr Cooper has been rather down lately, said Binky. He's been sighing a lot and staring out the window on not yelling at me nearly as much as they used to. I hate to interrupt, said Melanie, but think he's meeting with the headmaster starts in two minutes, Ghosh said. Pinky, I have to run. No running said Friday. I hate running. You're coming with me. Ask Pinky, of course, that Friday I'm going to prove your innocence. How ask Pinky? There's no time for me to explain, said Friday. And there's no way I can talk and run, so I'll tell you when we get there one minute and 50 seconds later, Binky, Melanie and Friday burst into the headmaster's office. Binky had had to drag the girls most of the way. He'd actually ended up picking up Melanie because he realised that would be much quicker. What is she doing here? Their headmaster demanded as he glared at Friday while she slumped against the door frame, desperately trying to catch her breath. Insufferable, exclaimed Mr Spiteri, I've already reprimanded her once for impertinence. Today. Pinky didn't do it gas Friday. He most certainly did. Said Mr Spiteri. It's a very simple computer programme to make these papers. He got every single answer, right? I know, said Friday. But he didn't cheat. How can you say that? Said Mr Spiteri, unless he had a brain transplant. It's impossible. No, you have to imagine, your binky said Friday. Perish the thought, said the headmaster. Imagine you're sitting in a two hour exams at Friday. You have the questions in front of you, and when you start reading them, you realise you don't even understand the words, let alone the questions. What would you do? I wouldn't know. I have never bean in that position, said Mr Spiteri, snidely, I'm in that situation. All the time, said Melanie. What I do is guess when you get a multiple choice exam, you're about to get some guesses, right? So your mark won't look too bad. Exactly, said Friday. Now, Binky, maybe a little slow is also very organised. So in a two hour exam, with 20 questions, he would know that he has six minutes per question. He would have tried for six minutes with each one before giving up on making a guess. Yes, that's what my remedial Chu Tu taught me to do, said Binky. Did your remedial tutor ever give you any advice on which letter to guess in a multiple choice exam last Friday? Yes, actually he did, said Binky. He said, If you're going to guess, always guess the same letter, then you'll definitely get some right. If he gets randomly from all the alternatives, it is statistically possible to guess them all wrong. And that is where the problem occurred, said Friday. Because I did the exam myself Friday turned to Mr Kalpoe. Congratulations. By the way, Mr Korvo, it was genuinely challenging back question about quasars and a time machine would have challenged the lateral thinking of some of the world's leading physicists. Where is this going? Interrupted. The headmaster he had long ago grown tired of Friday's long winded in theatrical explanations. When I did the exams at Friday, I discovered that every correct answer was options. C. So I guess in C for every question, Binky got every question right? Is this true As Mrs Spiteri turning on Mr Cole? Beau, did you really set an exam paper where every answer was the letter C? I don't know, said Mr Kalpoe. He'd slumped even lower in his chair. I suppose so. I wasn't feeling very inspired the day I wrote it. The seas are only one part of what intrigues me about this case. The other curious thing is why set such an impossibly high standard exam? Asked Friday, Or you're trying to prove I don't know, said Mr Cooper was just trying to make it fun. I don't want to upset you, sir, said Binky, but I don't think any of the students, even the brainy ones, found it fun. I don't think Mr Cooper was thinking about the students, Binky said Friday. I think Mr Kalpoe was trying to cheer himself up. Mr. Cooper stared at his shoes. You're not really enjoying your job. Here is a teacher, are you? Mr Kalpoe said Friday. Do you struggle to get out of bed in the morning? Do you dread stepping into the classroom? Do you feel like a crushing weight of rocks is pressing down on your chest at all times? Mr. Colbert didn't even look up, but he nodded. Big deal, said Mr Spiteri. All teachers feel like that all the time. They do when they work for a head of department who is a bully, said Friday in a school that degenerated into a shambles when all the teachers were fired, then rehired on Lee to be harassed by vice principal, who was conspiring to run the school into the ground. What do you propose we do? Said the headmaster. Do I need to fire Mr Culpo for writing the ludicrously over ambitious exam paper? No, you should send him on a two week holiday, said Friday. Mr. Colbert obviously needs cheering up. Perhaps a nice beach holiday. Mr Cooper burst into tears. I really like that I've been feeling so worn down there, there, Mr Cooper said. Melanie patted him on the shoulder Friday will sort things out for you. I can't send a teacher on a beach holiday, said the headmaster. The rest of the staff finds out they'll all want to go then say he's sending him on a training programme, said Friday. There's no way they'd be jealous of that. There's no money in the budget for sent in tired staff on holidays at the headmaster. He could go instead. Our family's summer place, said Melanie. It's a lovely spot right on the beach. It's got eight bedrooms, nine bathrooms and a heated pool so Mr Cooper would be comfortable. Oh, and March to the housekeeper would love the company, said Binky. She likes cooking for people. I ask her to make you a Cassidy is Mr Cooper was actually looking up and started to smile Now, thank you. Thank you so much, he gushed. I haven't agreed to this yet, blasted the headmaster. I refused to allow a member of my staff to abscond like this, said Mrs Spiteri. I suppose you could refuse to allow Mr Cooper to have a holiday, said Friday, but it be much cheaper and easier than settling it in a workplace dispute tribunal on explaining the archaic management practises of the school headmaster side. I should get to go to a tribunal to complain about being bullied by you. Barnes. I'm sorry to hear you feel that way, said Friday. Morale really is at an all time low here in High Crest. You should look at doing something to remedy the broader problem. Otherwise, more teachers and students will start acting out. All right, said the headmaster. Capo can have his holiday at the Pelly Beach house, if that's really all right with your parents. Good, he said. Melanie, I'll arrange to have Daddy's helicopter pick you up first thing in the morning. Mr. Colbert, Mr. Spiteri continued The headmaster. He glared hard at his head of science. Your staff are human beings, not fruit flies on a Petrie dish. Please treat them with empathy and respect. Persuading young science graduates to come and teach at a school in the middle of nowhere adjacent to a swamp. It's not as easy as you might think, and so the case was sold. The end  

R.A. Spratt:   14:16
Thank you for listening. To support this podcast, just go to your local bookshop or favourite online bookseller and buy a book by me, R.A. Spratt. There's lots to choose from from across the Peski Kids, Friday Barnes and Nanny Piggins series.  Until next time. Goodbye.