Nanny Piggins and the Royal Wedding Cake

After spending a weekend crashing weddings because she was in desperate need of cake, Nanny Piggins realises that the world is crying out of a wedding cake baker of her genius. She soon becomes so popular she is called upon to bake for a Royal Wedding.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:36

Hello,

Speaker 2: 0:37

Welcome to bedtime stories with me are Ray Spratt. Well, today I'm going to read to you chapter two from the fifth book in the nanny Piggins series, which is nanny Piggins and the rival ringmaster. And it's called the house of Piggins, which is a bit of a deceptive title because it's not actually about a house it's about wedding cakes. But anyway, the chapter is really good. Even if the title is not, uh, the reason I chose this chapter is because I wasn't sure what I was going to do this week. And I asked my children for advice and my youngest one who you may know as Tammy, uh, suggested this chapter because when I do author presentations, I often talk about this chapter. Uh, cause I tell a story about how I come up with ideas for stories. And in fact, I think it's an episode of this podcast. I did it earlier on. So you can go back and listen to the podcast episode. That's called my story about coming up with stories and find out how I came up with the ideas for this story. So let's get on and I'll read it. Here we go. The house of pagans, nanny Piggins Barus and the children were feeling very sorry for themselves. None of them had sustained an injury, but the most important person in their entire world had horns. The Baker was out of action. It all started when nanny Piggins had woken up the previous day with a yen for angel cake, she hit immediately kept the children out of school and gone down to place an order with hands. He had initially said there was no way he could possibly make 500 angel cakes in just one day, but after nanny Piggins had shaken him by the collar and B seemingly explained just how much he really needed. Angel cake hands are great to try his best. Unfortunately, somewhere around the seventh hour of hand, whipping egg whites, his electric mixer had burnt out after just two hours. Hans was stricken with a debilitating pain in his right forearm. And when nanny begins rushed into the doctor, it was concluded that Hans had Baker's elbow, a stress fracture in his owner caused by too much whipping. What are we going to do? Wild many Piggins when they returned home. After dropping hands at his flat over the bakery by hands, a nice card. And perhaps some flowers suggested Samantha. Yes, of course we'll do. That said nanny begins, but I meant what are we going to do for cake? I'm starving. You could make a cake yourself said Derek. No, no, no. That will not do said any begins. I need cake. Now, if I tried to make a cake myself, I would just be overcome with hunger and eat all the mixture. Before I put it in the oven, we could drive into town and find another cake. Shop suggested Samantha, no side nanny Piggins their cakes. Wouldn't be as good as Han's. It would only remind me of how much I miss him. He's only been out of action for an hour and a half said Michael nanny Piggins began to sob. Has it been that long already? What am I going to do? Will I ever eat cake again? I know sit Derek let's drive over to the cake factory in Slimbridge, but it's closed on Saturdays at nanny Piggins. We could break in suggested Michael. No they've installed new heat, sensing technology and retina eye scanners on all the doors ever since the last time I let myself in for just a little snack side, nanny begins. If we're never going to eat cake, again said Boris, his lower lip, beginning to tremble. What are we going to do? He burst into loud wailing sobs and collapsed on Samantha's shoulder, causing her to collapse and pinning her to the floor. There must be somewhere. We can go where this cake said, Michael nanny Piggins instantly snapped out of her depression and lept up from the table. Your genius. She explained, I am asked Michael ODS at nanny. Piggins a big smile on her face. Where is the very finest cake always served on a Saturday afternoon. The children looked at each other and confusion. They had no idea. And Boris was still weeping, too hard to contribute to the conversation at weddings declared nanny Piggins. People are always getting married on Saturdays and where there is a wedding. There has to be a cake, usually a great big delicious cake with lots of Mazi, pan ICN and sugar decorations. But we haven't been invited to any wedding said Samantha nanny begins, looked down at her. Samantha was still pinned to the floor and smiled fondly. The only reason we haven't been invited to any weddings is because the brides and grooms have never had the opportunity to meet us. I'm sure if they had, we would be the first people on their list. We're a lot more fun than a bunch of boring, old aunts and cousins, but isn't wedding crushing wrong said Derek, it's only wrong. If we just ate the cake and leaves at nine, he begins. I'm fully prepared to dance with everyone and tell them some of my very best stories. Trust me. By the time we leave, there'll be pressing extra cake into our pockets. And so nanny peons bars and the children got into Mr. Green's car, they had to throw Mr. Green out to do so because it was Saturday. So naturally Mr. Green was trying to drive to work. But nanny Piggins told Mr. Green, he had to walk because his doctor had rung up saying his legs would wither away. If he didn't use them, at least once a fortnight, then they got bars to stop crying long enough to get into the car. By reminding him that his birthday was 11 months away. And chances were that Han's stress fracture would be healed by then after the initial excitement of heading off to week cake at a wedding, it's soon occurred to them that they had no idea when or where any weddings work occurring. Couldn't you just use your extraordinary sense of smell to find one Samantha 90, Piggins leaned out the window and sniffed the air. You would think so. But unfortunately, the types of distinctively wedding, he smells, I could normally smell, you know, the fear of the groom, the cooking, Sherry being secretly drunk by the VICA or the gaffer tape, holding the bride strapless dress up are all masked by the massive flowers in the bouquets and arrangements. Well couldn't you sniff the flowers then asked Derek, I could agree. Then he begins, but flowers are actually quite common in flower beds as well. So we could find ourselves drawn into several wild goose chases. No, I think the best tactic is to drive around, looking for churches, surrounded by deliriously, happy people, throwing rice. Are we going to eat the rice to us? Michael? No Sydney begins. For some reason, they only throw uncooked rice at weddings. Although if you think about it would make much more sense to throw cooked rice, preferably something delicious like Thai special fried rice, or a nice creamy rice pudding. That way the bride and groom would have something to nibble while they get in their photos taken exclaimed. Boris one, what athletic begins slamming on the brakes of the car. A Dodo, if so well spotted because I've always wanted to see one no better than that said, Boris. Sure enough. Up ahead was a church with guests pouring out to congratulate a very happy looking bride and groom. Excellent exclaim, Maddie. Piggins getting out of the car. Come along children. We must give our best wishes to the lovely couple. Why I asked Derek. If we just turn up at the wedding and start scoffing cake that will look suspicious said in any begins, we must first establish our cover. As invited guests with that nanny begins marched across the road, her arms spread wide cooling out. Does you look breathtaking? I can't wait to get to your reception to celebrate this happy union. Oh, and speaking of which, perhaps you could give me directions to the venue as usual nanny Piggins was right. They did have a wonderful time at the wedding nanny. Piggins delighted the other guests with a death defined stories. She even acted them out. Fortunately, there was a chandelier for her to swing on and the pair of replica 17th century, Julian swords on the wall that she could fence with. Then after the meal, she danced and Oh, what a dance suffice it to say the bride is lucky. She married the groom earlier in the day for if she had not, his head would have been quite turned by nanny begins. Finally, the moment they had all been waiting for arrived, the cutting of the cake nanny Piggins insisted. They use the 17th century Julene swords so they could cut really big pieces. And as soon as she borrows in the children's sank, that taped into their first bite, they knew it had all been worth it. There is something about weddings that brings the best in people. It's one day in their life. When they say, go on, put another stick of butter in that cake mix and why stop at one, let's have two inches of creamy, thick ice cream. As a result, the cake was so good that after one bite, you had to quickly take a drink because there was so much sugar in the ice in the process of osmosis caused it to suck all the moisture out of your mouth. Nanny Piggins was in heaven. She stopped speaking altogether for a full two minutes and just made noises like ah, and, um, as she ate, when they finally left the reception, after saying goodbye to everyone and promising to come to the first anniversary party, the following year nanny begins bars and the children returned home. Very satisfied. What a wonderful wedding declared nanny Piggins it was a good cake. A great Derrick. Good is not the word exclaimed any Piggins it was divine. We'll definitely have to do that again. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Exclaimed. Samantha. Oh yes. At 90 Piggins the doctor said hands would be out of action for at least a fortnight. I can't go a whole two weeks without eating another cake like that. But nanny Piggins said Samantha, it's one thing to get crushed one wedding, but to gatecrash two weddings, that's just naughty. Don't worry said nanny Piggins I wasn't planning to gatecrash two weddings. Oh good sites. I'm at the, I was planning to get crushed. Another three said nanny Piggins taken out a crumpled list from her pocket. The caterer gave me the skinny on where all the weddings are happening across town tomorrow. We're going to gate crash. Three weddings in one day, asked Derek don't think of it. As gate crashing advice, nanny begins. Gate crashing is wrong. No, what we are doing is providing entertainment in the form of our delightful company in exchange for a small portion of their wedding cake. Today, you ate the entire second tier of the wedding cake all on your own. Samantha reminded her for which the bride should thank me, said nanny Piggins. You know what? Humans are alike. Always watching their weight. She should be grateful. I saved her from having all that cake lying around at home, tempting her. And so the next morning nanny begins bars and the children put on their best party clothes and headed out to celebrate the institution of marriage. Again, despite the children's concerns about being thrown in jail for the serial theft of cake, they ended up having a wonderful day. All the weddings were very different. The Wong yap wedding had lion dances. Although nanny Piggins could not understand why they use men in suits and not real lions. The Fitzgerald Fitz Simon's wedding had a bouncy castle, which was a good idea in theory, but not so good in practice at an event where people are eating large amounts of food. Fortunately the maitre D had a hose handy, but the Lee Edward's wedding was the best. As far as any Pickens was concerned because they had a chocolate fountain. You were meant to dip strawberries in it. But no one noticed when nanny and stuck a whole head under the warm chocolatey flow. Although it did have a spectacular effect on her hairstyle and her hat was lost for three hours until the father of the bride dipped in a strawberry and drew out the elegant bonnet, nanny begins bars and the children returned home that night, very tired and very full of cake while that was fun, admitted, Samantha, but we aren't going wedding crashing tomorrow. Are we? We have school and no one's gets married on a Monday. No, there'll be no more. Wedding crashing agreed in any peons, the children were relieved after four weddings. In two days, they felt they ate anymore. They'd explode. The wedding cakes were good, delicious even continued in any Piggins, but that was something lacking. I thought there was room for improvement, but you cried when you ate the chocolate orange layer cake at the Wong yap wedding because it tasted so good said Michael. Yes, but I was very hungry at the time, said nanny begins. It was only when I ate my eighth slice. Then I began to realize there was room for improvement. Where were the chocolate chunks? Where would the chocolate sprinkles? The children had no answers for these rhetorical questions? Why were none of the four wedding cakes entirely dipped in chocolate? And then he begins. The children did not know. It certainly would have been easy enough at the Lee Edward's wedding. The chocolate fountain was right there at it. Boris, the world of wedding cake creation is obviously crying out for a new creative influence, a Baker with a genius for cake I seen and visionary designs at nanny pins in short, they need me. What are you planning to do? Ask them at the beginning to suspect that perhaps she would not be going to school tomorrow after roll. I am going to open the house of Piggins said none. He begins. Why is she up in a house? Asked Michael, I think nanny pickins is talking about starting a wedding cake baking business. Explain Derek purple to that said nanny Piggins. The house of Piggins will be more than a cake baking business. It will be a design studio for cake based art. And so the house of Piggins went into business and it was immediately a huge success. If anything, it was too successful because the cakes were so good. If guests knew a house of Piggins cake was going to be served, they started yelling, get on with it. And where's the cake in the middle of the marriage ceremony at one wedding, the bride actually bolted halfway through the vows. Not because she wanted run out on the groom. She married him at a second ceremony later in the day, but because she wanted to get to the reception before anybody else and start eating the cake. She had bought a wedding dress with an elasticated waistband, especially so she could eat lots and lots of it. The VICA was very cross with any Piggins. Everyone has gathered here to celebrate the sanctity of marriage. And that has been ruined by your cake. He accused pish, retarded nanny begins. My cakes are single-handedly propping up the marriage, right? You should be thanking me. I'm bringing you business. But the institution of marriage is the most important thing about a wedding day. I'll do the vicar and it would be much happier institution. If married people ate more cake argued in any opinions. I refuse to conduct any more weddings where you supply the cake, shattered the vicar. I refuse to supply my cake to any more of your ceremonies counted nanny Piggins. She turned on her heel and marched out of the church. The children hurried after, but nanny Pickens said, Michael, you love making wedding cakes. Oh, I'm not quitting the wedding cake business declared nanny Piggins I'm diversifying. I'm going to become a wedding celebrant from now on. I will supply the cake and the marriage ceremony. And she was true to her word, which meant the biggest soon found himself with a lot more free Saturdays because the house of Piggins wedding ceremonies became an instant hit nanny begin solve the problem of having guests and bridal party members making an undignified dash for the cake by borrowing her old Canon from the circus and studying each of her ceremonies by blasting cake all over the congregation. She spattered them with delicious chocolate cake, lemon drizzle cake, or sticky toffee, surprise cake, whatever the bride and groom requested. The congregation enjoyed eating the impromptu snacks. They scraped off their clothes and it was quite an icebreaker. It also made nanny Pickens, tremendously popular with the local dry cleaners. The house of Piggins wedding ceremonies was doing a roaring trade. Nanny begins Barson. The children spent all week making the most fantastic cakes her mind could imagine. And she had quite an imagination when it came to cake and then they spent all Saturday and Sunday running one wedding after another one Monday morning, after a particularly exhausting weekend of cake, cake, and more cake nanny Piggins bars, and the children were sitting around the kitchen table. Good in themselves for another long week of cake. Baking ahead by eating a slice of cake when they were interrupted by a knock at the door. I wonder who that could be said. Boris, if it's a young couple wanting to get married, said, nanny pagans, tell them I've got a three year waiting list for a full marriage service, or they can come in now and I'll marry them. While I start work on the next cake, then to celebrate, I'll let them lick the spoon. Michael rushed back a moment later. It's not a couple. He said it's a Harold has in hark. The Herald angels sing asked nanny. Piggins a man dressed in purple tights, Crimson bloomers, and an old fashioned velvet tunic with gold trim stepped into the room and blew a trill on a trumpet. Everyone flinched partly because unaccompanied trumpet music is dreadful, but mainly because it was tremendously loud, noise and enclosed space Hawk said the Herald. Ooh, it's just like the song said, nanny begins. I come with great Titans from the Royal palace of Malama. Edina said the Herald, her Royal Highness, the princess Annabel has requested your immediate presence in the principality to assist in the preparations for her eminent naturals. What, what us nanny Piggins she's getting married soon. Explain Samantha. Oh, we'll sit in any Piggins catching on the princess wants a cake. His Royal Highness, the King of Milan Medina continued. The Herald has a private jet waiting to fly you out to the principality immediately. I will need to bring my late cake baking teams at nanny begins. Shrewdly who asked Michael shutted, Derek. I think she means us. Of course, at the Herald. His Highness has decreed that no expense be sped in making princess Annabel. The finest wedding cake ever made that would have to be pretty fine. Set. 90 begins. I made a triple jog fudge cake last week that was dangerously good. The children nodded their agreement in the end. Then he begins to decide the cake was too good to use at the wedding. And they had eaten it all themselves. Nanny pick his reason that it would be unfair to start the young couple off with a cake that good because then they would spend every day for the rest of their marriage moaning about how they wanted another slice nanny Piggins and her elite cake baking team soon arrived a mall of Edina. She had recruited hons into the team because she thought she could use some professional help. And also because she felt guilty about his accident and wanted him to have a nice overseas holiday. The Capitol was a beautiful city with cobbled roads and narrow little shops. We even up the steep hillside to the Royal castle at the clifftop overlooking the sea. When they got to the castle, they're immediately taken to meet princess Anabel. Nanny Piggins knew instantly. She was in the presence of a kindred spirit for the princess was eerily beautiful, which was surprising because extremely chubby women and not normally thought of as a beautiful type, but Annabel was undeniably. So particularly when she spoke of cake, the happy subject made her cheeks glow and her eyes sparkle now said Netty begins. I am planning to make you my standard wedding cake. That is an Octo CHOC chocolate cake with extra chocolate. What's that asked princess Anabel a chocolate cake with chocolate icing chocolate filling chocolate sprinkles, chocolate chips, solid chocolate base, solid chocolate on top and chocolate cream explained any begins. Have I forgotten the chocolate entirely dipped in chocolate reminded Michael who'd been counting them off on his fingers. Oh yes. And nanny begins. That's eight types of chocolates had the princess, but what about the extra chocolate? It is served with a piece of chocolate on the side. Explain nanny Piggins that sounds perfect. Exclaimed. The princess clapping her hands with delight. Do you have a picture you could show me. Of course said that he begins hand in princess Annabella sheet of paper. Here is a drawing. I whipped up on the plane. Oh. So the princess, her face dropping slightly. It looks delicious, but it just looks like a regular chocolate wedding cake. Nanny pickins smiled. That is because it is a scale drawing. You see the bride and groom on the top of the cake. Then he Pickens pointed to the figurines at the top of her design. The little figurines. Yes. At the princess. They aren't little figurines. Explain nanny Piggins that's you and the joke. I am making a cake big enough to have real people as the cake toppers, princess Annabel's eyes boggled, but then the cake must be

Speaker 3: 21:41

10 meters tall, 15. Correct?

Speaker 2: 21:43

I didn't any Piggins. I don't believe in half measures. I love it. Cried the princess. I must have this cake, but then that's not all sudden anti Piggins. I've spoken to some of my friends at NASA and in exchange for my ongoing silence about a certain international incident that took place earlier in the year, they lended me a hydraulic system. I don't understand. So the princess, after the ceremony explain nanny Piggins, you will be lowered by hydraulics into the cake.

Speaker 3: 22:13

So you and your group can eat your way out while the guests,

Speaker 2: 22:18

Their way in princess Annabel started to cry. Tears of joy. She also hugged any Piggins tightly while sobbing.

Speaker 3: 22:27

Thank you. All of you. This is going to be the best wedding

Speaker 2: 22:31

Ever. So nanny pickins and her team set to work, it was a good job. They brought Hans with them. His piping skills were invaluable. And by sitting up on bars, his head, he was able to reach up to decorate the first three meters of cake. He had recovered well from his Baker's elbow. Plus it turned out that hands do quite a lot of that cake engineering. It was his idea to insert long chocolate rods into the cake for extra support. When the big day arrived, the cake makers were exhausted, but proud, not since the construction of the Taj Mahal had a man-made or in this case, pig made structure being assembled. That was so magnificent. Tourists were already coming to the Island just to have their picture taken with it. And secretly lick the icing. When no one was looking, the wedding was to be held at midday. So after she finished piping the entire first chapter of her favorite romance novel along the side of the cake nanny, Piggins got dressed in her marriage, celebrants robes and off the shoulder evening dress made entirely out of chocolate bar wrappers, which still contain chocolate. Just in case you got packaged during the ceremony and went down to the castle courtyard where the wedding was to be held as Danny pickin stood on top of the giant cake facing the Juco Slavia having been raised up there and a cherry picker. She got her first good look at the groom. He was tall, which nanny begins knew from reading romance. Novels was supposed to count for something and his face was classically handsome, but he was not an attractive man because the expression on his face was so miserable. Have you recently lost a pet nanny begins in quiet sympathetically. I'm not here to make chitchat. Why can't we just get on with it has the juke strictly because the bride hasn't arrived yet. Nanny Piggins explained slowly, beginning to be concerned. The poor groom had a head injury that would be right to moderate. The grim typical woman. What did you say? Asked nanny pins. Beginning to glower. But at this moment they were interrupted by Michael rushing to the side of the cake and yelling Manny Piggins he better come quickly. What's the matter called down any Piggins probably can't decide which shoes to wear. Muttered. The grim ridiculous female nanny Pickens turned back to bite him. But Michael waled pleased only Piggins come quickly. She slid down the solid chocolate Fireman's pole conveniently built into the back of the cake. All structures over 10 meters tall should have won and hurried. After Michael, when nanny pickins arrive at the princess's bedroom, it was defined her Royal Highness face down on the bed. Weeping loudly. What's the matter asked nanny Piggins she hasn't lost a pet. Has she? I don't understand why everyone is in such a bad mood. In most countries, weddings are celebrated as happy occasions. Tell nanny Piggins what you told us. Samantha urged princess Annabel raised a face from her pillow long enough to whale. I don't want to marry the joke before breaking down into dissolves again. Then why on earth did you say you would ask nanny Piggins just wanted a wedding so I could have one of your wedding cakes stop the princess. Oh, said nanny Piggins as a cake lover herself. This made complete sense to her, but you didn't need to get engaged that all format. And just to have one of my cakes and nanny, Piggins sitting down next to the princess and giving her a hug, but daddy wouldn't have paid for it unless it was for a wedding. So the princess nanny Piggins would have made you a cake anyway, said Derrick, she makes cakes for everyone. When you have a talent such as mine, it's important to share it. Sitting only begins, but you needed daddy's deposit to rent the hydraulic system from NASA. With the princess, I thought a lifetime of being married to a miserable ball would be worth it for the chance of being lowered into a 15 meter high Octo CHOC chocolate cake with extra chocolate and eating my way out. But now I realize it's not tell nanny Piggins the rest urge. Samantha. There's more asked. Natty begins thinking this day was getting to be even more exciting and dramatic than an episode of the young and the irritable. I fallen in love with another Saab, the princess with another wedding cake as nanny begins, she was struggling to keep up. Oh no, princess Annabel is short. Her clutch in any begins hand. My heart is forever true to your cake. No, I fallen in love with another man, really? In any Piggins thinking of all the very unimpressive courtiers she'd met Joe and his stay and trying to work out, which one was the least revolting who princess Annabel began to look a little sheepish at this point, harms she whispered the Baker, yelled to nanny Piggins. She did not begrudge hands. The happiness of having a Royal princess falling in love with him. No one deserved joy more than him. After all the cake related bliss, he brought to others, but the thought of anyone loving hands entirely took it by surprise. You see nanny Piggins was so in love with hands baked goods and never occurred to her to think of him in any other way. These past few days, watching him beat eggs, melt butter, and wedge silver balls into four inch thick chocolate icing. He stole my heart. I'd never seen a more attractive man gust princess Anabel, of course. And then he begins now that she thought about it. She realized that fallen in love with a master Baker was the most sensible thing she'd ever heard of. It was a wonder that there weren't hordes of women in love with horns and trying to beat down his shop door. But most people are terribly superficial and would be put off by the fact that he was very short and Harry, in fact, if he was not a man, Harns would have made an excellent bearded lady, but now daddy is going to make me marry that, Oh, it is juke wept the princess. He smells as well as many Piggins you one man could have so very many faults. We can't let princess Annabel marry into a lifetime of misery said, Samantha, of course not agreed nanny Piggins. If I did, I'd have to hand in my, the young and the irritable fan club card from the shame. But what can we do as Derek? This is a castle surrounded by guards and built on an Island in the middle of the sea. They aren't going to let us just waltz off with it. Princess nanny Piggins was rubbing his snout, something she always did when she was thinking hard. Don't worry. I am having the beginnings of a brilliant idea. Setting any begins. A short time later, Nannie Piggins was standing toe to toe with princess Annabel's father yelling at him. If you can't find the princess, then I'm taking my cake and going home yelled at. He begins the wedding. We'll go ahead as planned. That is an order back. The King, your men have been searching for an hour and they haven't found the princess. All the Baker. She fell in love with I can't dilly dally here all day. I've got the portrait Dingleberry wedding cake to make. When I get back home and said, nanny begins, finds that the King, take your cake and go, I've got better things to do than stand around, arguing with a pig. I didn't know you were arguing with the juke as well. So nanny begins looking over the shoulder to see if he was there. He means, you said Derek. He does. Oh yes, of course. Even I forget I'm a pig sometimes said, then he begins. The King was just leaving the room to find some more people to yell at when nanny Piggins called after him. May we borrow your biggest helicopter? It's just that. I don't think the airlines will let us take on a 15 meter. Tall cake is hand luggage. Do what you like snap the King 10 minutes later than any begins bars. And the children were safely inside the helicopter and flying back home. And as I'm sure you've all cleverly figured out. Princess Annabelle on Hans, the Baker were hidden inside the cake, which was hanging beneath the helicopter as it sped over the ocean. Do you think they're all right down there. And the cake asked, of course they are said nanny Piggins. They have each other. They have true love and they have three metric, tons of Octo, CHOC chocolate cake. What more could a young couple ask for the end? Thank you for listening to support this podcast. Just buy a book by me. RA spread. There's lots to choose from, from across the nanny. Piggins Friday bonds and pesky kids series. And now there's the audio books of Friday Barnes girl, detective, and the adventures of nanny Piggins as well. You can order any of these things through your local bookstore, or you can go to my website, RA spread.com and click on the book, depository banner. They have all my titles and free international shipping. That's it for now until next time. Goodbye.