Chapters 12 & 13 - The Peski Kids 4, Final Mission

April discovers that she has been nominated for the Potato Princess. Meanwhile, Joe desperately tries to get out of captaining the school's Capture the Potato team.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:42

Hello and welcome to Bedtime Stories with me, a Ra Sprt . Okay, so we're still reading my book, the Pesky Kids five, the final Mission, and we are now up to chapter 12, the paper. So you probably remember that from last week , uh, the story we left it with Joe and Loretta had gone out to meet the newspaper delivery man and rescue the paper from Pumpkin before he destroyed it because they wanted to find out who was gonna be running for the title of Potato Princess. So , uh, we'll pick the story up there. Here we go. Chapter 12. It was still fairly dark, so Loretta waited until she was back in the warm, well lit kitchen before she even tried to read the paper. April could not have been less interested in the matter. She was bustling about the kitchen feeding pumpkin, and putting breakfast together for herself. Joe had gone beyond the idea of making toast. He was too hungry to wait for the toaster. He just grabbed a box of breakfast, cereal and a spoon and started eating it dry. Straight from the box. Loretta laid the paper out flat and started flicking through looking for the announcements page with a list of nominees. Suddenly she stopped. Quickly, she read, and in the next second she screamed. Ah , April was so startled she dropped a can of dog food on her foot. Ow, cried. April, what on earth are you cat awa in about? Joe didn't even try talking. He just went to the fridge, got the milk, poured it directly into the box of cereal and kept eating. He was gonna need sustenance. If something was so exciting, it made Loretta scream. There's no way it could be good news. Loretta swiveled on her stool to face April. April wasn't looking at her. She was down on her hands and knees trying to clean up the spatter dog food with a kitchen wipe while pumpkin danced excitedly around her snatching bites. It's the list of nominees for Potato Princess Settle . Loretta still staring at April. List of morons more like Mudded April . They should call it the potato headed princess. You'd have to have mashed potato between your ears to wanna be involved. Loretta beamed at April, but this year's list has a few surprises. It's surprising there even is a list in this day and age, said April. I'm amazed the government hasn't shut it down for contravening every principle of feminism. Joe was starting to get curious now his mind was churning what on that list. It made Loretta so excited who has been nominated. He asked Loretta glanced at him. Well, of course me said April as she tried to get the last stubborn chunks of dog food out from the edge where the floor meets the kickboard by the sink and Daisy OENs Statter . Joe Shutted. Normally he would never dream of being rude about a girl, but he was so terrified of Daisy that his body reacted involuntarily as well as the names you would expect. Matilda Voss nes , Alice Pullman, Vanessa Riddle continued. Loretta that lot had barely got two brain cells to rubb together between them. Mudded, April, but the last name on the list is continued. Loretta April pesky. April had just got to her feet. She was holding pumpkin's dog ball in one hand and a water of filthy kitchen paper in the other you've been nominated for Potato Princess said Loretta, with a huge grin. April lost her grip on the dog bowl and it smashed to the ground making another mess, but she didn't even look down. What did you say? Asked April. You are a potato princess nominee. Said Loretta, over the coming days, your every move will be watched by the citizens of Ang as they judge you on your ability to uphold the virtues of the potato pageant. Then on Friday, they all vote at the polling booth at the cwa. April was shaking her head, but I don't wanna be a potato. She protested too late, said, Loretta, someone must think you are worthy. You must have a secret admirer. Oh , gross said April. I'm gonna pull outta the competition. Joe went over to read the article for himself. What Loretta had said was true, but something else caught his eye as well. Hey, said Joe . What's this here? He stabbed his big finger at a different point on the page. That's my name. Oh my exclaim. Loretta, that is an honor. What honor asked Joe. He was starting to panic. Loretta leaned in to read it carefully. You have been named captain of the Kang High School Capture the potato team, huh ? Said Joe . As a prelude to the potato princess pageant, settle the capture. The potato game is held in the Daffodil Gardens. Kang High competes against an Anthony's to see who can steal the other's potato sack first. Why would anyone wanna steal potatoes? Asked April for the honor of it, said Loretta. She grabbed Joe and wrapped him in a big hug. I'm so proud of you both. Loretta turned to hug April too , but she was covered in dog food, so thought better of it. This is gonna be the best potato pageant ever. Okay, well that's the end of chapter 12. Let's keep going. And chapter 13 is Ferdinand Joe pumped the pedals of his bicycle harder than usual. He was in a hurry to get to school. Normally he doled as much as the others. Social interaction was always awkward for him. Apart from his stammer, he was also physically so tall and bulky that some kids stared. Although the worst bit about school was when teachers asked him questions. He usually knew the answers in his head, but it was getting his tongue to say the words. That was the hard part, especially when the other 29 kids in the class had turned to hear what he'd say. That's why, regardless of what he was asked, he always tried to answer with the same thing. I don't know . He was usually pretty confident he could get those words out without stumbling. Sometimes he'd even abbreviate it further and just say, dunno . This was even better because it lowered the teacher's expectations of his intelligence further, which made them less like to ask questions in the future. But today, Joe was hurrying so that he could have a conversation, a thing he usually dreaded. This time things had gone too far. It was unavoidable. He had to talk to Mr. Popov. He was sure a teacher couldn't put him in a sporting team without his permission or at least warning him that it was about to happen. He had to get out of it. Luckily, April was in a hurry too. She was just as mad. Well, actually a lot matter. April had a great capacity for anger about being nominated for Potato Princess. She was angry with the unknown person who had nominated her, but she was also angry with a whole ridiculous pageant itself. As she cycled down the road, a halo of rage orbited her like the rings of Saturn pumpkin whizz alongside her, fueling her anger with his yappy bark. April's first objective was to find the sack full of nominations and destroy it perhaps by burning it, or at the very least, empty in it into the nearest toilet and flushing all the names away. Then she intended to find out who nominated her and seek retribution. She considered sicking pumpkin on them, but decided she wanna save the pleasure for herself. As a result of all the pent-up frustration of his siblings, Finn was struggling to keep up. Even Vladimir Loretta's horse was having to counter a little faster than usual to match their pace. Slow down, complain. Fin speed up snapped. April. My legs are on fire complaint Finn , it'll do them. Good said April. You're too weedy. You need to build some muscle. This was a bit rich. April was very weedy herself, but her tiny muscles seemed to have endless energy and disproportionate strength. We could travel to school in a much more relaxed fashion if you just accepted the nomination and embraced your role as a potato princess nominee. Said Loretta, I'd rather embrace a venomous snake. Growed April . Got to get there , said Joe . See you later. Joe stood up on his pedals and sprinted away as if he was riding in the last leg of the tour de France down the sh de . Oh , I wish my legs could do that. Said Finn . You'd never be able to ride a bicycle that far . Said April. Your oversized head creates too much wind resistance. Finn didn't even respond. It was probably true. Joe soon found Mr. Popoff . He was marking a line on the football field using a paint roller. Joe couldn't get one word out. He was really upset and out of breath from right into school so quickly. What do you want? Bisky snapped. Mr. Popov in his thick Russian accent. He was always angry. He'd become a PE teacher because he loved exercise himself and thought he would enjoy sharing his passion with teenagers. Instead, he found himself deep in a career where he spent his whole time yelling at youths who hated exercise and would go to enormous lengths to avoid it. I did . Joe was so tongue-tied. He was starting to go red in the face from frustration. The sound of galloping hooves intervened. Joe turned to see Loretta slipping off her horse. She whistled once and Vladimir wandered off to grays on the long grass alongside the oval. Joe would like to know how his name came to be in the paper saying he was captain of the potato team announced . Loretta, what's this to you? Vi Martin ? Ask Mr. Popoff. He was doing his best to be grumpy, but it's hard to keep it up with someone as charming and polite as Loretta Joe is. My brother said , Loretta Joe tried to say, no, you are not. But the words wouldn't come out either. I'm concerned you may be taking advantage of his good nature said Loretta saying he is in the potato team without talking to him about it. That's very manipulative. Almost bullying Mr. Popoff . Scald . I'm a PE teacher. This is my job to bully students. Well , Joe isn't always the best at expressing himself. Verbally said Loretta. So I'm here to advocate on his behalf. Joe was trying to say, but I don't want you to, but he couldn't. So he was stuck watching two manipulative people negotiate what was gonna happen to him. Joe does not want to be captain of the cap , the potato team Citta. I don't want him to be either yelled . Mr. Popoff really said Loretta. Well, that was easy. He can pull out then. No, he can't sit . Mr. Popup . He was not my first choice. Sure he talented athlete, but he's gotten a fire. No aggressive, no ruthlessness. Joe hung his head in shame. It was true. He was nice. I wanted someone who would stop at nothing to crush. The opposition continued. Mr. Popoff . I wanted Daisy Oden's daughter. Well then why didn't you ask her? Ask Loretta. She was poached, said Mr. Popoff boiling water . Ask Joe. His thoughts were never far from food and when Mr. Popoff said poached, it made him think of eggs. No poached, headhunted stolen from under my nose. Complained Mr. Popov , but there are only two teams settle . Loretta, are you saying that she has been poached by St . Anthony's? St . Anthony's was Loretta's former school. It was super posh. Only extremely wealthy people could afford to send their children there. Daisy's family did well enough, but they weren't wealthy on that obscene scale they got to her parents last night said, Mr. Popoff offered full scholarship for Daisy and they accepted us . Loretta, she was surprised. Daisy was very aggressive and competitive. She'd only ever had mean things to say about St . Anthony's. They offered her special one-on-one hockey coaching, said Mr. Popov. Ah , said Loretta that explained it. Daisy was mad for hockey. It involved two of her favorite things, winning and whacking things with a stick. Then I thought about asking , April said, Mr. Popov, she's weedy but vicious. But the rules say all the players must be over 13. Oh dear, she would've been a good choice. Agreed . Loretta, and I can't choose you because of the cheating, said Mr. Popov. I think you mean my creative interpretation of the rules said Loretta. Mr. Popoff just snorted. There was nothing forbid in the use of explosive, said Loretta, it's the founder of the game who people should be angry with. Not me. So I'm stuck with hims . Mr. Popoff said til in his head at Joe as though he wasn't even worth the effort of pointing at Loretta. Look Joe over from head to toe. I'm sure we can train him up. Hey, said Joe , you're meant to. He was trying to say, you're meant to be helping me. He's like Ferdin and the bull said Loretta ha said Joe . Haven't you ever read the pitch book cast , Loretta? It's about a calm and peaceful bull who transforms into a vicious beast when he's stung by a bee. You think a beast sting would do it? Ask Mr. Popoff sizing Joe up and considering this option, Joe took a step back as though afraid one of these two might whip out a bee right then and there. No said Loretta. Not literally a bee. I've seen Joe get stung by a bee. He just gets sad and blotchy. We have to discover Joe's own personal bee. The thing that makes him turn into a crazed and raged beast. You better get on that said, Mr. Papa . The first draining session is tomorrow after school, he turned away and went back to Mark in his lines. The bell rang and Loretta started to walk to class. What just happened? Ask Joe . You've just accepted the quest to lead Kangi to victory in the capture the potato game . Said Loretta, but I never said yes, said Joe . I agreed for you. Said Loretta, trust me. I'm better at this kind of decision maker than you. You did the right thing. Or rather I did the right thing. Clearly this is your destiny. There's no point fighting it. But I don't know how to play said Joe . That's fine, said Loretta. I do, and I've got some imaginative ideas for strategy this year. Joe Trudged after Loretta, he still wasn't sure what had just happened. He always thought April was the most troublesome sister in the world, but now he was beginning to suspect that his new self adopted sister was just as bad if not worse. Okay, well that's the end of chapter 13. So we'll leave it there for now. So this episode is gonna go out on the 7th of June. So that means, ooh , next week seventh. Uh , so 7 7 40 . Oh yeah . So the week after that, I'll tell you what I'll do. Lots of people have been asking me to do another Nanny Pigs story. So next week what I'll do is I will read a chapter from Nanny Pigs four for the podcast. And the reason I'll do that is because the audio book of Nanny Pigs four , which is called Nanny Pigs and the accidental Blast Off . Uh , so the audio book of that book is gonna be coming out on the 15th of June. So I will read one chapter from that book , uh, so that you get to hear the story. It's a short story, so it's a complete story. You can enjoy it and if you like it and you're missing the Nanny Pig stories while I do The Pesky Kids, you can buy the audio book and I think there's like nine other Nanny Picken stories in that, that book. Yeah, nine. Pretty sure there's 10 altogether. So nine stories in that. Nine more in that book. Okay. So that's what's gonna happen next week. So we'll leave it there for now. And until then, goodbye .