Bedtime Stories with R.A. Spratt

Nanny Piggins and the story of 'Pigerella'

March 11, 2020 R.A. Spratt Season 1 Episode 3
Bedtime Stories with R.A. Spratt
Nanny Piggins and the story of 'Pigerella'
Show Notes Transcript

Nanny Piggins tells Derrick, Samantha and Michael the story of her fabulously glamorous distant relative - Pigerella. It is a cautionary tale warning of the dangers of having too many identical siblings. And an empowering message about the importance of cake baking.

This story was written for 7-11 year olds but it is fun for all ages. There are lots of laughs for the whole family, young and old.

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R.A. Spratt:   0:00
Hello and welcome to Bedtime Stories with R.A. Spratt. Today's story is Pigerella.

R.A. Spratt:   0:06
Nanny Piggins and the children, Derek, Samantha and Michael were spending a quiet evening at home. They had not intended to, but the electricity had been disconnected. Their father was too cheap to pay the bill, so they couldn't watch TV, listen to music or cut a hole in the ceiling using power tools, which is what they had been planning to do to create a lovely atrium area where they could practise trapeze while they're waiting for the cakes to bake. Instead, they found themselves sitting in the darkness. There only light came from the roaring fire Nanny Piggins had built using their father's law books, which provided a Mary glow, which was ironic because the actual text inside was incredibly boring and miserable. So really said in fire to the law books was the kind of thing to do. Nanny begins. Brother Boris, the 10 foot tall ballet dancing bear, had joined them because there was no power in his shed, either, and he was afraid of the dark and spiders and spiders in the dark. Most of all, what should we do? Ask Michael. Goodness knows, said nanny begins. We can't even bake a cake because the oven uses electricity, cursed modern sciences reliance on fossil fuels. We could bake a cake on the fire, said Derek. Her. Heaven forbid, exclaimed Nanny Piggins. The cake would come out tasting like law books. You could tell us, a storey suggested Michael. Derrick and Samantha nodded enthusiastically, apart from being the world's most glamorous flying pig, a champion professional wrestler, a virtuous a tap dancer. Ah, gold medal ski jumper on DH, the only Nobel laureate in the field of cake baking. Their nanny was also an amazing storyteller. That's a good idea, said Nanny begins. But which one? It's probably best. I don't tell you a storey from my own life, in case you ever called upon to give evidence in a court of law. I know. I'll tell you. The story of one of my distant yet fabulously glamorous relatives from long ago, her name was pig a rela. Don't you mean Cinderella interrupted? Derek Never heard of us, said Nanny Piggins. No, my story is about a wonderful young girl called pig a rela. Was she beautiful? But it in Michael, Why would that matter? asked Nanny Piggins , irritated by the interruptions. They did not help a narrative flow. We've heard a similar story about a very beautiful girls at Derek. That'll be right, said Nanny Piggins. Children's literature can be so superficial as it happens. Pigerella wass staggeringly gorgeous. But no one ever noticed because that was not the most wondrous thing about her. The thing that made her or inspiring was her ability to bake a cake. Really asked Eric. Yes, certainly begins. She was the Leonardo Da Piggins off cake baking. Don't you mean the Leonardo da Vinci of cake baking? Our Samantha? Who's he? Asked Nanny Piggins. Never mind Sir Derek clamping his hand of Samantha's mouth. Keep telling this Story, But the problem picker Rela hod was his sister's. Continued Nanny Piggins. Let me guess, said Michael. She had two evil step sisters. No, her troubles were much greater than that, said Nanny begins. She had 13 evil sisters all together. They were identical. Fourteenuplets Let's they were exactly like in every physical way. But in personality, they were all entirely different. While Pig gorilla had virtuously devoted her life to the betterment of cake, each of her sisters have developed a unique talent for being wicked. I don't want to hear anymore. Well, Boris the Story is scaring me. Samantha cuddled up close to Boris and gave his poor a reassuring squeeze. Together, the 13 sisters gang up on poor P gorilla on, locked her in the kitchen where they forced her to do nothing but bake cakes all day long from dawn to dusk, said Nanny begins. But how did you go to the toilet? Asked Michael. Nanny begins, shuddered. That detail is too horrible. I cannot reveal it to Children. It's too shocking. But suffice it to say there was a small window that opened over the rose bed. Oh, exclaimed Eric and Samantha. I wish I hadn't asked, said Michael. Now it just so happens that in this same country there was a prince called Gavin continued in any Piggins. Was he handsome? Are Samantha What is it with you Children and your obsession with physical appearances? Demand in any pigeons? You don't ask if he was beautiful on the inside or whether he was good at baking, which would be a much better question. You go straight to whether he was a hottie, but was he asked Eric. Well, Actually, Prince Gavin did have chiselled good looks and rippling muscles considered Nanny Piggins, but I think it's very superficial of you to care. Sorry, said the Children in Sincerely, Did he have any special talents as Michael? As a matter of fact, no Admitted nanny begins. At least Prince Gavin didn't know if he did. You see life is a Royal Prince is so boring. All you do is go to formal functions and watch soldiers march and launch ships and inspect hospitals. There's very little scope for creativity. The poor man had endured a terribly tedious life, but he did have lots of money, right, said Derek. Money cannot buy you happiness, said Nanny Piggins sternly. But it can buy you cake, Samantha pointed out. And you always say that cake is happiness in baked form. True admitted nanny begins, but that is a really tragic part of the story. This kingdom had no cake shop. The Children gassed Boris bursts into racking sobs. Nanny Piggins dabbed away a tear herself. It's too horrific to imagine, so let's not imagine it and get back to the story. There came a point in Prince Gavin's life when it was time for him to get married. Boris perked up. Who? I do like a wedding, but because all Prince Gavin ever did was open museums, inspecting nursing homes and lay reads on memorials. He didn't have much of a chance to meet young women, explained Nanny Piggins. So he decided to hold a grand royal ball on Invite every woman in the kingdom. Pig gorilla sisters were overjoyed. They all wanted to marry the prince so they could get his money and use it to further their evil plans. What sort of evil plans? Asked Eric. One sister wanted the princes money to make a doomsday device that harness the power of volcanoes. Another wanted his money so she could control the weather on Make It rain every day that her enemy hung out the washing while yet another wanted his money so she could buy all the strawberry topping in the world. Create a strawberry topping shortage on bring the ice cream condiment industry to its knees. Oh, forests. But pig gorilla was pure of heart, continued many Pickens. She wanted to go to the ball because she heard they would be serving cake. You see, she didn't just like making cake. She liked eating it, too. The Children nodded. That sounded perfectly sensible to them, but pig guerrillas, nasty sisters refused to let her attend, said Nanny Pickens. They said she had to stay at home and make the most magnificent cake she had ever cooked because one of them would be getting married. The next day, they locked bigger L. A. In the kitchen and threw away the key. Boris broke down, collapsed on the floor and started wailing. Oh yes, well, now you weep, said many pigeons, while comforting him by shoving a honey sandwich in his mouth. Because that's exactly what pig a rela did. She sat down, bawled her eyes out. Why? Why must I stay home and endlessly bake? Cried. Pick a rela. I just wish I could go to the ball. Andi. Two cakes someone else had baked for once. Just then, there was a tremendous flash of light. Ah, puff of smoke and a loud bang stand in before pig, a rela was a strange little woman in a twinkly dress holding a magic wand. Who are you? Ask gorilla. I'm your fairy godmother, said the strange woman on DH. I am here to make sure that you shall go to the ball. How are do you know how to pick locks? The fairy godmother chuckled in my own way. I do. She waggled her magic, wanted the door and bang. The lock exploded out of the frame. Cool, said Big gorilla. Now we must do something about your dress, said the fairy godmother. She waggled her wand again. There was an explosion of sparkles and in an instant pic gorilla was wearing the most glamorous blue ball gown. No way! Exclaimed Figure. Ella, I am not wearing this. I am not interested in a man who'd marry me because I'm wearing a pretty dress. I want to meet a man with substance, intelligence and good judgement, but I'm a fairy godmother, said the fairy godmother. Giving girls pretty dresses is what I do. Then you need to have a long, hard think about your career path. Advice. Big gorilla. But what would you wear to the ball? Last? The very godmother address that displays my true beauty, said Pigerella proudly. I will wear a dress made entirely out of cake on that is what a gorilla did with the fairy godmother's help beat in the butter and sugar on measuring the ingredients. Pig gorilla made sheet after sheet of the most delicious fluffy chocolate cake, then sewed it together with raspberry licorice before coating the whole thing and superbly sleek and smooth chocolate source. When she stepped into the gowned pig, a rela was breathtaking. The fairy godmother dabbed it era pride from her eye. My dear, you were right. You looks a perp, in fact, good enough to eat. I know, said Pigerella. But what about your shoes? As the fairy godmother, I have a pair I made earlier, said Big Gorilla with a smile. She went to the pantry and came back with a pair of Ste. Dunning glistening dance slippers made out of pure spun caramel. Divine! Exclaimed the fairy godmother on DH. So Pigerella went to the ball, said Nanny begins in a coach made out of a pumpkin. Ask Derek. No, she got an uber, said Nanny Pickens. I do wish you'd Children would stop interrupting. When she got to the ball, the prince was enchanted. How could he not be? She was a staggeringly beautiful pig in a stunningly delicious dress and they fell in love. Grimaced Michael. Being a small boy, he'd always been frightened of the notion of falling in love. For the longest time, he'd been under the misapprehension that falling in love involved a girl pushing you off a cliff. Yes, they did, said Nanny begins. But then everything went horribly wrong. Picker Rela had lost track of time. At the stroke of midnight, she suddenly realised he had five minutes to get home. Or she would miss the late Nite rerun of her favourite TV show. The young and the irritable cried Boris. He knew just how devastating this could be because the young and irritable was his favourite show. Too pickerel around from the ballroom as fast as the trotters could carry her continued nanny begins. The prince was devastated. He tried to chase after her. But being a mere human, he was no match athletically for a pig. By the time he made it down the front steps of the castle, she had disappeared into the night. All he found was one spun caramel shoe left abandoned on the cobblestones. He picked it up and licked it because he was human after all. on. It was delicious than the prince declared. I shall marry the pig who fits this shoe. When pig gorilla awoke the next morning, it took her a while to figure out why she was covered in chocolate source. Then she remembered the Grand Royal ball and the dress made entirely out of cake and she smiled to herself. Just then there was a pounding at the door. She heard a loud voice call out. Hey, His Royal Highness, The prince is here to find the pig who fits the caramel shoe pig. Carella could hear her 13 identical sisters sprinting towards the front door, shoving and pushing each other out of the ways they went. Oh, no, exclaims Samantha. They were all identical. The shoe would fit them all. Ah, but that is where you're wrong. Said in any begins smugly, The shoe didn't affect any of them. They all tried, but none of them could get there. Try to ream. The prince was getting anxious. He'd had such a boring and tedious life. The first fun thing that had ever happened to him was falling in love with a pig. And now it looks like that wasn't gonna work out. But then pig gorilla stepped forward. May I try the shoe? She asked. It's not going to fit you dimwit, said one of her nasty sisters. If it doesn't fit any of us, yes, it will, said Pig, a rela regally. She was already getting used to the idea of being royal, because I know the secret to getting it on. She produced a small jug of chocolate pudding and tipped it into the shoe, then pushed her trotter into the pudding, her Trotta slipping effortlessly, the put in squelching out through the open toe. It fits! Exclaimed the prince. His heart's swelling with love. That's right, declared Big Gorilla I and the impossibly glamorous pig you danced with last night. The chunk of cake you broke off your skirt was the most delicious thing I have ever eaten, said the prince, sinking down onto one knee. Please marry me on bake me more cake so I could be the happiest man alive. No, said Bagarella exclaimed. The Children wait for it, said Nanny Pickens. No, said pig gorilla. I am an ambitious peak. I want more for my life. I want to make cake for everyone and make this the happiest kingdom in the world. Please allow me to toil alongside you as your husband. Make the prince. Let me help you bake the cakes and share with you the last lick of batter off the wooden spoon. Piggery a weakened because the prince wasn't just handsome. He was a nice man. Is well, very well, she said, bending down to seal their bargain with a kiss. Ah, said Samantha, said Michael Boris burst into loud tears. But this time there were tears of joy on DH. So pig gorilla, Prince Gavin and every cake lover in the kingdom lived happily ever after. The end declared many Pickens, and at that exact moment, the power and all the lights in the house came back on a break. Right now. Lee Biggins, quick, Children, fetch the circular source. We can start work cutting a hole in the kitchen ceiling. The end.  

R.A. Spratt:   13:18
Thank you for listening. To support this podcast just buy a book by me R.A. Spratt  from your local bookstore or favourite online bookseller. There are lots to choose from across the 'Nanny Piggins', 'Friday Barnes' and 'Peski Kids' series. Until next time, goodbye