Friday Barnes and The Case of the Missing Dollar Coin

When the Vice Principal sets a trap to catch a thief, Friday proves why setting traps is a terrible idea.

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Transcript

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Hello and welcome to bedtime storeys with our A sprat. Today's Storey is a Friday Barnes one, and it's the mystery off the $1 coin. Here we go Friday, and Melanie was sitting in the back row of biology class. Miss Bonner was talking about my tose ISS, a subject Friday thoroughly understood already on. Melanie had no interest in understanding. Ever. The best thing about Miss Bonnell was her voice, a beautiful, lilting voice. It was like a wind chime in the breeze, so easy to tune out and ignore. Which was why both Friday and Melanie considered biology to be their favourite subject. Even Miss Bonner was very relaxed about it all. She said it. A raised desk with the sleeves of her old red jumper rolled up her feet on a chair that had bean angled perfectly so that she could sit sunbathing in the glow from the window. She clearly loved her subject. She described the separation and duplication of cells with a loving affection that someone might recount a favourite childhood Bedtime storey. As she talked, she snacked on a chocolate bar, which he would occasionally stop to dip in a tub of guacamole several of the class Iranian chocolate because there was a vending machine in the corridor right outside the classroom on DH, Miss Bonnell could not begrudge the students a treat. She did not want to begrudge herself. Miss Bonal had given up writing on the blackboard at the beginning of term when she sprained her wrist rollerblading and she found she preferred talking about science as if it were a wonderful fairy tale. If she lowered the lights and provided pillows, no doubt half the class would drift off to sleep, having happy dreams about the goings on of cells. If you imagine DNA as being like a zipper began Miss Bonnell, then that will cried the vice principal. As he burst into the room, Miss Bonner was so shocked to be suddenly and loudly interrupted that she fell out of her chair, vice principal said Miss Bonnell, drawing herself up to a feet, then thinking better of it and sitting down again. What's the meaning of this? It's no concern of yours, Ms Bonnell said. The vice principal, the School Council, has asked me to investigate because they're concerned by the growing culture off immorality at this school and as I am an old boy. They know I know what the standards should be. The vice principal prowled the room glaring at the students is, he said this. As such, I have designed a little test to gauge the honesty of your students. At this point, the vice principal notice Melanie at the back of the room. She was staring out the window, watching autumn leaves drift from the trees. Friday had kicked her in the ankle several times to try and get it to stop staring out the window. But you could attach a giant clam shell to Melanie's foot in steeply rising tidal water on. She still wouldn't notice new girls, not the vice principal stop staring out the window. At this point, Melanie did look around. Ho! Sorry, said Melanie, getting up and stand to Packer books. I must be in the wrong classroom. I'm supposed to have Miss Bonnell for biology in second period. It is still second period, isn't it? This is second period biology with Miss Bonnell, yelled the vice principal, Miss Bottle lean to one side and wave so that Melanie could see her behind the vice principal. So it ISS said Melanie. Hello, Miss Bonnell. I always enjoy your lessons. They're very relaxing. You're not here to relax. Snap the vice principal. You're here. Tto learn. Some people need to relax the learn. Observe. Melanie, You're not one of them. Said Friday. True. Agreed. Melanie, be quiet. Ordered the vice principal. You two need to learn to be silent until spoken to. But you are speaking to us, Said Melody. She turned to Friday. He is, isn't he? Or am I dreaming that the vice principal is yelling at me? No, he's definitely yelling it. Use of Friday. And I think it would be very unlikely for us to simultaneously be having the same hallucination unless Mrs Maragall has been put in hand. Pick mushrooms in the beef stroganoff again. I'll deal with you two later, said the vice principal ominously. That's not why I'm here. He strode to the front of the classroom. I am here because I have designed a test of this class is honesty. This morning before you entered this room, I put a $1 coin on that window sill over there on Honest student would have take it immediately and lodged it with lost property that did not happen. So why that the coin will still be there, or one of the students in this class is a thief. Vice Principal Dean, I'll not allow you accuse this class of began Miss Bottle get into a feat. Miss Bonnell interrupted the vice principal. Kindly sit down. This is no concern of yours. Although I would like to have a conversation with you about your dress sense, I can distinctly see a large moth hole in the back of your jumper. That is not the hi Chris Way. Ms. Bunnell sank back into a chair, her face having turned his bright red is a jumper. The students or looked at each other. The vice principal imagine they were looking at each other, wondering who could be the thief. But they were wealthy Children who didn't care very much about $1. They were actually one into. The vice principal was bonkers on who among them had a parent who was a psychiatrist who'd be able to get him committed. Shall we see then, said the vice principal. No one answered, hoping if they ignore him that he would go away and they could go back to not listening to their biology lesson. The vice principal strode over to the window, moved aside. An overhead projector on revealed an empty window sill. Ah ha! Cried the vice principal. It's gone. I might have known what a sorry group you are desecrating one of the fundamental rules of decent society. Thou shalt not steal. You should be ashamed of yourselves. All of you, Not just a thief, but the rest of you as well for allowing this crime to go ahead before your very eyes and doing nothing to stop it. The vice principal was whipping himself up into a full blown right now he was find it hard to keep his saliva in his mouth as he spat out his venomous words. So which one of you was it? If you confess now, I'll go easy on you. You'll just be expelled. We won't bring the police into it. The whole class sat in complete silence. No one even moved in case the vice principal should take the slightest flinch as an admission of guilt. Her did it demanded. The vice principal Friday pushed back a chair and rose to her feet. You exclaimed the vice principal no said Friday. It was not May. But I suggest you drop this line of attack right now and leave this classroom. Otherwise things will get very unpleasant for you. Are you threatening me? Demanded the vice principal, his voice reaching new extremes of loudness. He really did have excellent projection. The way he punched his confidence out from his diaphragm would be the envy of any theatrical performer or drill sergeant. No, I'm not threatening. You said Friday you're clearly giddy with power and quite possibly mentally deranged. So common sense compels me to have a little to do with you as possible. When I say that this course of action will end badly for you. I merely giving you advice based on what my deductive reasoning has concluded really happened to the $1 coin and therefore what will take place in your immediate future. How dare you yell the vice principal? Do you know who stole the money or not? Yes, I do said Friday. But I ask you, do you really want to know on I urge you to reflect on all the possible results. Just tell May yell. The vice Principal, Vice Principal, please. I cannot allow began. Miss Bottle, I'm handling this snap. The vice principal Barnes, spit it out right now. Very well, said Friday. These air the facts. I am sitting in the back row and given the angle of my eye line on the height of that window sill, I have the best chance of seeing the top of it. But I can't. The window sill is too high on my seat is too low. I'd have to be 10 foot tall to see the top of that window sill when I'm sitting down. That means that once the class came in and sat down, none of us could have seen the dollar coin you put there. So someone saw it is that came into the vice principal? Impossible said Friday. The overhead projector was right in front of the window sill. You moved it yourself. So what are you saying? Demanded the vice principal for the coin evaporated into thin air. No, I'm saying that whoever put the overhead projector there is the only person who could have seen it said Friday on that person is Miss Bonnell. Everyone turned and looked at Miss Bonnell. She was looking acutely embarrassed and bright red in the face. Outrageous. Explain the vice principal. How dare you accuse a member of staff. It's also the only explanation that makes sense at Friday. Not only did she have the means and the opportunity, she also had the motive. Most of the students in this room are so rich they wouldn't bother crossing the room to pick up a dollar. I assure you, the teachers here are well paid, said the vice principal. They need to be to put up with students like you. I'm sure that's the case, agreed Friday, But there is another motivating factor at play here. Hunger. The vice principal. Just look confused now. Miss Bonnell, maybe well paid. But her handbags in the staff room on the other side of the quadrangle said Friday, imagine how she felt getting the room ready for her biology class. She starts feel hungry, but the class will arrive in a couple of minutes. Then she spots the dollar, which in itself is a resistible temptation. But the dollar, in combination with the vending machine out in the corridor, would have been just too much. The sugar, the chocolate, perhaps even some kind of Biscuit Centre. There's no way she could resist what you're saying isn't just defamatory. It's ridiculous. Accuse the vice principal. Breakfast was served just two hours ago, Yes, but I have observed that Miss Bottle has for the last few months spent an increasing amount of time sitting down with her feet up, wearing oversized comfortable clothes on 18 chocolate bars dipped in guacamole. Plus, last week, she cried when she showed us a video about the life cycle of a frog. These are all symptoms of one thing, said Friday. No, said Miss Bonnell. What, as the vice principal exclaimed Melanie with delight. And studies show that women get very hungry and very irrational when they're pregnant, concluded Friday. Everyone in the room gassed. They turned to look at Miss Bonnell had gone, and even deeper shade of dark red. Congratulations called Melanie happily, how can this bomb will be having a baby spot of the vice principal? She isn't even married. You really should attend some of miss bottles. Biology lessons said Friday she could explain the whole process of mitosis to you. It has absolutely nothing to do with the marriage contract that said, you're entirely wrong, because Miss Bonnell is in fact married the whole class cast. Again, you'll note the sun tan line on her ring finger. My guess is she's been wearing the ring on a chain around her neck, probably because as a science teacher she has to wash her hands so often. This's preposterous, but of the vice principal, Why on earth would Miss Bottle be secretive about getting married? Because she's embarrassed about who she's married to, said Friday. Don't say, pleaded Miss Bonnell, holding her hands over a face in shame. There's no point keeping it a secret, said Friday. It really is quite obvious. Why ask Miss Bonnell? We've been so discreet, you're wearing his red jumper said Friday. He wore it to assembly on Monday last week. Respond. I'll look down. She was wearing an oversized men's red woollen jumper. Oh, it's Mr Powell! Exclaimed Melanie. That's his sweater. That hole in the back is where accidentally stabbed him with a javelin Last term. You're married to a P E teacher and said the vice principal, You can see why she's embarrassed, said Friday, a scientist falling for a jock. But how did you know we were married? ask Miss Bonnell, You're broken wrist of the beginning of term, said Friday. You said you broke it. Rollerblading on The only way an adult would ever learn to roller blade is if they were head over heels in love with a person who wanted to teach them. Miss Bottle looked at the sun tan line on her ring finger. I didn't realise there was so much to notice, so there you have, it said Friday, turning to the vice principal. Someone did take the dollar coin you left on the window sill. But leaving a dollar coin out in the classroom of a pregnant lady an hour before lunch when there's a vending machine selling chocolate just five metres from her classroom door is nothing short of entrapment. You'll be in a lot of trouble with the teachers union if they get wind of this. I think the best way for you to settle this matter is you two by Miss Bonnell, an enormous box of chocolates as a congratulations present there never speak of this incident again. The vice principal's mouth open and close several times as he processed all this information very well, he finally said as he turned to the class, he still had to try and save face. I hope this is a lesson to you not to pick up money that doesn't belong to you. I think it's been a greater listen to all of us not to set traps set Friday unless you know who you're going to catch. And so the mystery off the missing dollar coin was solved. The end. Thank you for listening to support this podcast. Just buy a book by May are a sprat. There's lots to choose from from across the Friday Barnes Pesky Kids and Nanny Pig in Siri's. You can order them at your local bookstore or go to my website are a sprat dot com and click on the book depository banner. They have all my titles and free international shipping. That's it, for now. Until next time Goodbye