Bedtime Stories with R.A. Spratt

Friday Barnes and The Case of the Impure Gelato

January 12, 2022 R.A. Spratt Season 1 Episode 99
Bedtime Stories with R.A. Spratt
Friday Barnes and The Case of the Impure Gelato
Show Notes Transcript

When Friday's school group stays at a convent in Florence, the nuns need help dealing with accusations of impurity against their gelato.

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Speaker 1:

Hello, and welcome to bedtime stories with me are ARAT well, before we get into today's story, I've got a couple of things to talk about. First of all, this is episode 99 of the podcast, which is pretty exciting because next week we'll be the hundredth episode. And I know some people get excited by that number. I'm not sure why maybe it's because of the circles or the , the one, but anyway, it's a century next week. So , um, it's pretty, it is a pretty big deal when you think about it, because there's been a lot going on the last couple of years and the fact that I've managed to pull off doing 99 consecutive weeks of stories is an achievement. So next week I will something to mark the occasion. I'm not sure what I'll probably just tell you a story. The other thing I wanted to mention is today, I'm gonna do a Friday barn story from the ninth book in the series because it's only a couple of weeks until the 10th book comes out and goes on sale. So that's gonna happen on the 1st of February, 2022. So I thought I would get you back in the Friday barn's mood. So that on the 1st of February, you all rush out and buy my new book or rush your electronic device and download my new book either way. That's what would be good. So today I'm gonna read to you chapter 11 from book nine, and the chapter is called trouble at the convent. Here we go. It was the hour of silence at Santa Anna Friday. And Melanie was sitting on the floor of their room, doing a jigsaw puzzle of bot's birth Venus. They had spent the day at the Fite museum. It had been more fun than Friday expected. She'd looked forward to seeing Leonard out Vinci's paintings, but she found herself unexpectedly enchanted by the pretiness of bot Chili's work. Prison must have made her soft. She liked the pretty flowers. Anyway, it was nice to be back in the quiet of the convent, away from the crowds of the tourists away from uncle Bernie's worries and silently working on a puzzle, a shaft of sunlight from the window, bathed the room Friday was very relaxed and comfortable and warm. They had just about finished putting together Venus' billowing hair. When they heard the sound of running footsteps out in the corridor, bonds , bonds , it was Parker calling out to her . He ran his voice echoing off the stone walls. The last thing Friday wanted was to have to deal with Parker and whatever ridiculous mess he'd gotten himself into this time. She wondered if she sat very still, whether Parker would simply go away. She heard Parker slide to a Hal outside and pound on the door. Barns . Are you in there? Yes, she is. Melanie responded absent mindedly. As she pieced together a ni gown . Oh, that's a relief said , Parker, if you decent barns , I need you to help right away. And if you're not decent, could you put some clothes on then help right away, Friday side got up and went to the door. She flung it open and glare at Parker Parker recoiled. It was an impressive glare from someone so short. Well what's wrong Parker. Friday held up her wrist, pointing her watch face towards Parker and tapped it. Sorry, barns . I don't follow said Parker. I don't know any sign language. Friday closed her eyes and took a deep calming breath. Parker could try the patience of a Saint and she wasn't a Saint. So she had to resort to deep breathing exercises. It is the hour of silence. She whispered the convent had an hour of silence every day. Oh, said Parker. No, you can forget about that. All the nuns have, some of them are yelling. In fact, there's trouble down in the gelato laboratory. You'd better come quickly. Friday. Melanie was soon. Hurry with Parker through Loist obviously should always help a nun in trouble, but a nun in trouble in a gelato shop. Things didn't get more serious than that. Friday could hear the yelling from the far side of the courtyard. She was pretty fluent in Italian, but the abuse had degenerated into local colloquialisms and Friday could not understand what was being yelled. She recognized sister Maria's and the voice of sister Angelica, the head gelato maker . She was clearly very angry and it sounded like she was speculating on the parentage of someone and whether or not they were related to the rear end of a farm animal. When Friday burst through the chapter house door, into the gelato shop, it was quite a sight to behold. Sister Maria had a large middle aged man in a headlock, and he desperately spinning around trying to get away from sister Angelica. As she chased him around with a huge ladle while yelling, insults what she's saying , ask Parker, how dare you translated Friday. Then it gets hard to follow. But I think the gist of it is how dare you Sully the name of my gelato with your wicked lies. You pestilent something, something, something excuse for a man self-serving greedy gutter . Mind , excuse for a man said, Melanie, wow. PE said, Parker, your Italian is seriously good. My Italian ju used to get very upset with my brothers. She explained he used a lot of vocabulary, not commonly incorporated into Italian lessons. Sister Angelica was now trying to hit the man with a large copper pot Friday decided it was time to step in that's enough. Stop it. She said she picked up a pot and banged it on the steel bench to get everyone's attention. Sister Angelica froze her lateral midair while the poor man in the headlock strain to see who had spoken. Tell me your problems at Friday. Let me sort it out for you. Oh , I thought you've given up problem. Solving said , Melanie, I can't let sister Angelica go to jail for assaults at Friday. Oh absolutely. A group Parker. Anyone that good at making ice cream has a higher calling. You must help her gelato . Your stupid boy. It is gelato yelled , sister Angelica. Now waving her later at Parker. Yes. Maam said Parker, Karen , Melanie , anything you say maam , you have my total respect. I'm guessing this is Ezio BIA said Friday. How do you know my name as man ? I have been told that EO BIA is a greedy wicked man said Friday. And since sister Angelica is a deeply spiritual woman. The fact that she's trying to hit you using in a kitchen utensil leads me to deduce that she regards you to be wicked. So what's going on here? ASIO sense in the DMI of teenager was his best chance of getting out this situation without being knocked, unconscious spoke up. I have evidence. I have proof beating me will not hide the, he waved a folder sheet of paper in his hand, sister, Angelica lunched to grab it, but he snatched it away. Sister Maria tightened her headlock. Oh , complained the man Friday step forward and pluck the document out of his hand. Hey said the man, what is it said, Melanie reading over Friday's shoulder. It was all in Italian, which Melanie could. But most of it was numbers and scientific terminology. It's a report from a forensic laboratory, said Friday. Another laboratory said Parker, a scientific laboratory where they test substances for their chemical constituents at Friday. Oh, said Parker clearly disappointed. I prefer the gelato kind of laboratory. Well, it's all to me said, Melanie, as she scanned the table of numbers and chemical symbols, these are the results from testing the chemical makeup of a sample of gelato Ney . Or as we call it in English, Rasberry gelato said Friday, the fat content is 9% sugar, 7% fruit, 23% egg milk. And it's all as it should be, except what's this. There's an additive E 1 0 3 . There accused ASIO , wagging his finger at sister Angelica. Your image is so holy your claim. Your gelato is so pure, but it's not. So I found you out. What's E 1 0 3, ask Melanie , is it a poison by , are they trying to kill us all? No. E 103 is a food coloring set . Friday red food coloring to be precise. It's a natural chemical found in the root of the Alcan Victoria plant. It's legal in American Australia. The plant actually has medicinal and anti-inflammatory properties, but E 103 coloring is illegal in your , there are much higher purity standards here. You cheat it accuses . Your gelato is a cheat. Oh , dare you yell sister Angelica . There are no chemicals here. Such laboratory. There are no chemicals. Okay. I believe you said Friday. There is a way you can both be right. There is ed Barca . Does it involve two separate parallel universe is colliding in a wormhole ripped through the spacetime continuum. You've been watching science fiction movies again. Haven't you Parker said Melanie . Yes. I thought it would help me understand science classes , better admitted Parker, but it's only made me more confused if there is coloring in the finished D lotto , but no coloring was added while it was made, said Friday, then it must have been added at an earlier stage. Tell me she turned to EO . Did you test any other of the flavors? Yes. I tested them all said EO , all that were on sale. Last Tuesday. I have many nephews. I had them come in and buy the different ones. The only one I missed was the Krema a Rancha because my little nephew, Fred Arco is a greedy boy and he ate it all before I could get a sample greedy, but smart said Parker. That's a seriously good flavor. Okay. Well the crema a Rancha aside said Friday. Were there any additives found in any of the other July flavors? No considered as , so there can't be anything wrong with your base gelato ingredients of Friday. It must be something specific to the raspberries and the Rasberry gelato . So someone's tampered with the berries as Melanie sister , Maria Gast do you know whose sister ask Friday? Just set , grow the raspberries, but he's a man says Maria, he loves his fruit. It cannot be him. Here. He comes now says sister Angelica, a beaten up old truck had just pulled into the courtyard. He drove it over to the back of the shop. A young dark-skinned man jumped out and picked up a tray of fruit from the open truck. One job or no , he called out as against , I have beautiful beaches wheel today. His face fell as he took in the hostile glares. What's wrong. Sister , Maria burst into tears. What breed of RAs? Bri , do you supply to this shop last Friday? CEP look nervous. I have different varieties depending on the season. They harvest a different times. Sister Angelica never sells gelato . That's more than 48 hours old set Friday. So what breed of raspberries did you supply to her last week? Do not accuses raspberry. Just simp is the best that sister Angelica, his raspberries are the sweetest I Florence. They're beautiful with subtle flavor. That's why my raspberry gelato is unique and so much better than anywhere else. Puffs . Ezio be quiet. You or to sister Angelica waving her lateral again. Your raspberries are unusually sweet and more subtle. That's interesting said Friday. So what breed are they? They're called raspberry Gange . He blushed and glanced at sister Maria raspberry. Maria. What said Maria? It's a breed of raspberry. I developed myself, sir . Jace . He hung his head embarrassed. I named it. After you. You did says it's the Maria. How romantic marbled Melanie . Well done Jace . So few men are in touch with their emotions, but to be so sensitive and horticulturally capable is a red blend. Indeed. Everyone knows a common breed of raspberry said Friday. They all have a bright red color and a tar taste, but there are some sweeter. The flavored raspberries that a golden in color. Is that what you used? Yes. I made a cross bread with a golden harvest train , confessed, JCE . It's the most beautiful flavor, but the fruit is a soft pink. I know no one wants this. So I experiment with the Alcan. Think Toia plant to bring more red into the color or JCE . No said sister , Angelica, what have you done? But it's not a chemical se . It's from a plant Friday. Shook ahead . People talk about chemicals as though they're a separate thing that are only found in powders or test tubes, but everything is made up of chemicals, all living things, all non-living things as well. We're all made up of combinations of chemicals. If you break us down into our tiniest components, even a human is just a combination of carbon, hydrogen oxygen, nitrogen, and trace elements. Oh, I've done wrong. Such as Seppi . Now you are finished declared ASIO , gleefully . You are done no more reputation for you. I wouldn't go that far said Friday. Turn in on the gelato rival. You might wanna back up on your blackmail threats or I'll be forced to blackmail you. What? The mattered ASIO . If I walked straight to your gelato shop right now and had all your flavors tested, what would I find as Friday? Nothing. I have nothing to hide. Ezio really ask Friday. There are no chemicals there. Set ASIO . Maybe there are no artificial chemical colorings in your gelato set Friday. Although given the unnaturally green color of your pistachio, I wouldn't bet on it, but this is Florence and you aren't just trying to get European food label in privileges here. You want to hold onto your prestigious pH Laar certificate to do that. You must meet the highest gelato standards and there are other things you are not meant to have in your gelato. Like excessive levels of hydro fat. I dunno what you're talking about. Ezio his Jos quid with outrage. I have none of this hydro fat in my gelato. Ooh , he's lying said, Melanie. I know said Friday and I can prove it. It's impossible said ASIO . It's not true. Is that so set Friday on the first night after we arrived, we walked past your shop on the Ponte . And I noticed that your display cabinets are set to minus 18 degrees. Of course Ezio it's the industry standard for gelato. Everyone has their cabinets set to this. That's true. Said sits angel. Yes . So Friday, but gelato without Hz fat has a much lower melting temperature. The frozen crystals de crystallize. That means if the display freeze , where you store your gelato is set to minus 18 degrees, then the crystals in the gelato are tiny. The gelato is looser, smoother, sloppy, and it can't be heaped up like , like a sandcastle. All your gelato on display is heaped up in mounds. Therefore it must have more than 10% ized fat. The nuns gased you can't prove. It said as you , I can with the help of Friday , read the header on the report in her hand. Laar agar . I won't let you have a sample. As you Parker said Friday, you've spent every waking moment since we arrived in Florence, trying different Gela shops. Haven't you? Yes. It's been an honor. And a privileged said Parker, and you're a typical messy thoughtless teenage boy. Aren't you said Friday. Yes, I am a agreed Parker nanny always says so. So if I were to go to your room , said Friday, do you think I'd find a napkin or use gelato cup from Mr . SEO's shop? Oh, definitely said Parker. I've been there three times. He turned to ashore sister Angelica. The gelato is not as good as here at all. Sister Angelica. Noded with proud satisfaction. Then why did you go there three times ask Melanie. They have these big heaped up displays that look so good. Explain Parker. You stupid boy said sister Angelica. It is not the look. It is a taste that matters. Oh, I know said Parker. I've learned that now this is why I came to Italy to learn. Let's make a deal said Friday. As she turned EO , we won't dub you in for your flagrant use of hydro fat. If you don't tell anyone that last week, there was some gelato salt here that inadvertently contained a natural food coloring. And I will throw all the Rasberry gelato out that sister Angelica you could do that said Friday, or you could sell it to a drug company to market as an anti-inflammatory product. You might end up making a lot more money than you realize. No one likes taking tablets. I'm sure lots of injured. People will love to relieve their swelling with a bowl of gelato. ASIO , struggled with his impulse to denounce the nuns, but eventually common sense one fine. He stormed out, slamming the door behind him. I understand if you no longer want to do business with me, just said , he said to sister Angelica, don't be ridiculous. Said sister Angelica. You may have made a stupid mistake. Men do these things, but you still grow the best tasting raspberries in Florence. You keep growing these for me, but don't make them red. Let them be gold . I will have the first golden Rasberry Del LA . It will be a sensation. And so the case was sold. That's it for now until next week and the 100th episode. Goodbye .