A Bad Start - Chapter 1 - The Peski Kids

April, Fin and Joe don't realise it yet but their mother is missing and their world is about to be turned upside down, by a woman they always regarded as being frumpiness squared.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:43

Hello, and welcome to bedtime stories with me. ARAT well, today I'm gonna be reading chapter one from my book, the pesky kids mystery of the squashed cockroach. Here we go. Chapter one, a bad start, shut your face or shut it for you said April angrily. She was a wary girl who like a hummingbird, had the strange ability to be in constant motion and appear eerily still at the same time, you can't shut a face, said fin in his pedantic monotone, a face is a, in something that opens and closes. You could ask me to shut my eyes or shut my mouth, but my ears and my nose are unblockable. Orifices. I'll block them for, you said April when I punch you and they swell, shut Finn narrowed his eyes slightly, which was about as expressive as his features got. He was not terribly in touch with his own emotions. The, so they rarely affected the shape of his face. No violence said Joe, their older brother, he Staed when he was nervous and talking, made him nervous. So he Staed quite a lot. Joe knew exactly what he wanted to say, but just as the words were about to leave his mouth, they would perform some sort of acrobatics on the tip of his tongue and refused to urge. So generally he said very little, except for constantly reminding April and Finn, not to hurt each other. April made a scoffing noise. Their mom didn't often notice what was going on. So it was pretty easy to keep things from her like kidney punching your brother during dessert, April may do with shoving thin outta the way and stomping up front path. So she got to the door. First. She punched in the code. They lived in a normal suburban house, but their mother was forgetful and often lost her keys. So they'd had a pin pad lock installed. There's a limit to how many times you can get locked out of your own home. And it still feels fun. That limit is one having to raw vegetables from the garden. While you wait for a locksmith is never a barrel of laughs. As soon as they push into the house, a whirlwind of fur lept in April, trying to lick her face, but fall in short and scrambling all over her knees instead. Oh, I missed you. Two pumpkin gushed, April bending over to greet her beloved dog. I hate it. When you travel in in PE and you have to stay home just then pumpkin's head snapped around as Finn entered the house, the dog leap for and bit him on the ankle. Oh, cried Finn. Good boy said April fishing, a treat out of her pocket and rewarding her dog. You can't train pumpkin to bite me said Finn, I didn't train him, said April. He's just following his natural canine instincts. He can smell loser. Joe was a tall and growing taller 16 year old boy. He seemed to have more muscles popping up every month. So he spent a great deal of time eating food. He left April and fin into their argument and went into the kitchen to find a snack. He didn't have much luck. The fridge was empty. There was low fat yogurt and kale juice in there. But Joe didn't consider either of them to be food. Mom yell, Joe, but there was no reply. Joe assumed mom was looking at a particularly engrossed in dinosaur bone. He opened the pantry and side. There wasn't much in there either except for a half empty jar of olives that would have to see him through until dinner. He opened the jar and wandered back to the living room. Mom yelled, April Finn just called me an idiot. No said Finn. I called you an idiot savant. In that context, the word idiot is an adjective. Savant is actually a compliment. It means to be unnaturally good at something you said she was good at something as Joe, this was unusual. Finn was 13 and April was 12. They were in fact only 11 months apart. So for one month of year, they were technically the same age in all their lives. Since they'd learned to speak Finn and April had never said anything nice to each other, not once he said I was an idiot. Savant explained April had been a pain in the neck. It's true. Said Finn, it's your one freakish talent, mom, bellowed, April, their mother didn't have many rules. And the few rules she did have were rarely enforced, but she was adamant that they should not call each other idiot or stupid. So April knew if she presented her argument. Well, she might get Finn in trouble. If you DOB me in said, Finn, I'll tell her what you did at lunchtime. I didn't do anything at lunchtime said, April, you wrestled Michael Hargan to the ground said for in now April rolled her eyes. He loved it. She said, tucking, her wavy, dark hair behind her ear. You did promise not to wrestle anymore. Joe reminded her. Yeah. The headmaster made you sign a contract saying you wouldn't thin at it. I didn't hurt. Michael said, April, you tore his shirt off, said fit in with his characteristic. Irritating accuracy. Well, he should learn to sew April retarded. It's an important life skill fine set Finn. Then you won't mind me telling mom about it. Mom, you are the worst set. April clenching her fists. If she was about to get in trouble for wrestling, she might as well do some more wrestling to make it worthwhile. Where is she asked Joe looking up at the ceiling. Their mother did not live in the ceiling, but she had an office directly above the living room. Normally, if they yelled and screamed long enough, they would eventually hear their mother's chair. Slide back as she got up and started down the stairs. So she could shout at them to be quiet, but there was no sound from above. Did, did she say she was staying late at the museum? Asked Joe, their mother was a paleontologist, a very senior and well respected one. But the thing about spending all day with a bunch of bones that are 300 million years old, is that nothing is ever really urgent. If it's waited 300 million years, it can wait another day. So their mother was very rarely late home unless she accidentally got stuck in a lift or forgot her pass to get out of the car park, which she did with surprising regularity. If you can't keep track of your own house key, remember in a pass card as gonna be pretty difficult too. Maybe she got lost. Again, said April, their mother often got lost, particularly in shopping centers and shopping center, car parks, but she'd usually just get a taxi home, pick up the kids and then get them to go back with her to find the car. Joe looked at the answering machine next to the telephone. The light wasn't flashing. The were no messages. She would've left a message. If she was delayed, she's probably just fallen asleep, said fin. He went over to the staircase and bounded up the stairs. Two at a time, it was pancakes for breakfast that always makes her sleepy. They heard Finn throw up in the office door. Mom. He called, but there was no answer. Joe and April heard Finn looking in the other rooms. I upstairs, she's not here. I'll check the shed said Joe trudging towards the back door. Why do you think she decided to mow? The lawn asked April sarcastically. Their mother had never mow the lawn. She didn't understand the Western cultural obsession with short grass. Some of them or zealous neighbors had pleaded with her to let them saying that long grass encouraged snakes, but their mother said she liked snakes. A very low percentage of them venomous. And they lived 2.3 kilometers from the nearest hospital. So even if one of them was bitten by venomous snake, they'd easily be able to get access to anti venom time. It only took Joe a few seconds to cross their small yard. The tiny shed where their mother kept things. She didn't use very often like the vacuum cleaner and the ironing board mom wasn't there. Joe came back, shaking his head. Where could she be? Even April was starting to get concerned. And generally she didn't stop being angry long enough to be concerned about anything other than herself. Just then pumpkin ran to the front door and started barking. Finn jogged back down the stairs. What's he barking about now? Oh, the struggles of indigenous people and Papa one new Guinea said April sarcastically. Finn looked at her confused as if I know why he's barking. Snapped April. I don't have dog E ESP. True. How you have extra sensory perception when you barely have regular perception. Agreed. Fin. That was the straw that broke the camels back. April launched a self at fin, grabbed him by the collar and wrenched him sideways to pull him off his feet. For 12 years of living with April had taught fin a thing or two about self defense tactics. He grabbed April's wrists and dropped his weight on them. So that as heat fell down, he brought her down too. April was just about to put Finn in a headlock and started ministering nos. When there was an almighty bang, their front door exploded, inwards splintered wood flew everywhere and a stocky black clad figure wearing a full face mask burst into the room. The children found themselves staring down the barrel of a handgun. Oh, it's you said the gun woman, an unexpectedly familiar feminine voice. She holstered the gun and pulled off her face mask pro Mayard exclaim. Joe, is that you? Now I must pause to explain a few things here. Joe recognized this gun woman because professor Mayard was their mother's boss, Joe Finn, and April's mother was a very Doy middle aged woman. She wore frumpy practical clothes, cheap, thick, framed glasses, and often forgot to brush her hair for several weeks at a time. So to them, their mother's boss was Frum a squared. She was just like their own mother. Only more so and older. She was the type of woman you'd expect to absent mindedly offer you the used tissue. She pulled out of her sleeve cuff. Now not the type of woman you'd expect to burst into your home dress like a ninja and brandish in a weapon. Yes, I'm afraid. It is me. He said, professor Maynard, terribly. Sorry about that. It can't be much fun for you to have an old lady waving a taser at you when you should be doing your homework. That's a taser asked fin. It looks a lot like a real gun. Don't be a silly sausage said professor Maynard. It would be totally against the rules to point a gun at children, but they make our tasers look like guns. So they're more terrifying. She got the taser out again. See for yourself. Professor Maynard pulled the trigger and blasted the potted Astra that sat in the corner of the living room. The plant hissed and jutted as several thousand volts of electricity flooded through it. I think I'd rather get shots said fin, as the leaves of the plant turned brown, then black and started to singe. Whoop, sorry. It said professor Mayard releasing the trigger. I'm sure with a bit of water it'll perk up again. The plant was now slumped and dripping brown green, nevermind about that said professor Mayard step in front of the plat. So the children would stop looking at it. I expect your surprise to see me. This was an understatement professor. Mayard had only been to their house twice before once when their mother had locked herself out. And another time when their mother forgot to come back from a conference in Nu Stan and professor Mayard had popped over until they could arrange a babysitter. I'm here to give you some very good news said, professor Maynard. She smiled happily to emphasize how good the news was and how lucky they were to be about to hear it. Your mother is in a jail cell in a secret prison somewhere Eastern Europe and will probably be there for a very long time. The children were horrified. How is that? Good news asked April because she's not dead said professor Mayard, we're all very relieved. She's not dead. The collective can be a little trigger happy sometimes. So she dodged a bullet there. Literally. In fact, professor Maynard laughed at her own joke. Although to the children, it did not seem terribly funny. Why is she in jail last Finn? She's a paleontology. Did she do something wrong to a wooly mammoth bone or something? What's she even doing in Eastern Europe asked Joe. She didn't say anything about leaving the country at breakfast this morning added Finn. Yes. Well, she's not allowed to tell you things like that said, professor Maynard, you don't have clearance. What said April? She was finding this conversation. Very confusing and upsetting. And when April was confused or upset, it was usually only a short time before she started wrestling. I have been authorized to give you some basic details said professor Mayard, but it's very important for your own safety that you don't know too much. So I'm gonna tell you something and you are going to have lots of questions, but please don't ask them because I won't be able to answer the children just star at her. Now they were all confused. Your mother is not a paleontologist said professor Maynard. Well, technically she is. She's fully qualified and her PhD is genuine, but that's only a cover. She did her doctorate thesis over a rainy weekend to give herself a nice credible backstory. Then what is she asked Joe an international super spy said professor. Mayard what? Yelled all three children in unison. Yes, it is surprising. Isn't it great professor Maynard. That's why she really is such a top notch age. She's just so good at convincing people. She's a Dowdy middle aged academic that it's no trouble at all for her to slip into another country and bump off ahead of state. She assassinates heads of state said Finn. No, of course not said, professor may not forget. I said that. And I mean that forget it because if you don't, I have access to equip. That will make you forget it. Okay. Said fin, starting to edge away. Now I don't want you to worry said professor. Mayard we're all doing everything in our power to get your mother out. We're looking at the satellites, diverting, submarines and planning a precision missile launch any day now. But in the meantime, I'm afraid. I'm gonna have to ask you to the pack a bag and come along with me. What asked Joe? He was speaking for Finn in April here as well. This accurately summarized their sentiments. Professor Maynard wagged her finger at Joe and chuckled. Uhuh, no follow up questions. Remember, and I must urge you to hurry. She glanced at her watch. There is a collective hit team on his way here. Now they should be arriving in about 90 seconds. So if you could pack a few things in the next 70 seconds or so, that should give us enough time to run out to the car and get away before they start firing the children wasted. The next five seconds, just staring at the crazy lady who had burst into their house. Professor Mayard shook her head. Sadly. I knew there'd be follow up questions. They're always are. Don't worry. I understand your children. You are in shock. I'll have my people handle it. Professor Maynard brought her wrist to her mouth and barked into her cuff Alfred team, go, go, go. The, there was a one second pause. Then 12 Burley black clad men burst into the house. Three of them grabbed the children. Another grabbed pumpkin. They heard the man scream in pain as pumpkin bitten, the others streamed upstairs. The children were bustled outside into a black minivan parked by the curb. The other men were now streaming back out of the house, carrying the family's assortment of suitcases with loose AOX and undies half hanging out of their hastily. Shut lids houses, clear bike. The last man out good work said professor Mayard, but we'll have to do some spring cleaning before the collective boys arrive. The driver pass professor. Mayard what looked like a can of whipped cream. She ripped off the lid with her teeth and tossed it in through the open front door of the house. Fire in the hall yell professor, the Mayard the men took cover and Joe Finn and April watched as their normal suburban home exploded in a ball of fire. Hit it. Eric professor Maynard told the driver and the minivan squealed away, April and Finn whipped around through the back window. They caught a glimpse of a black BMW turning into the street just as their minivan disappeared around the corner. The end well that's for now until next time when I'll be reading you chapter two, goodbye.