Bedtime Stories with R.A. Spratt

Nanny Piggins and the Problem Cat

R.A. Spratt Season 1 Episode 6

When builders find a cat stuck up the tree on their building site, they know who to call on - the world's greatest flying pig, Nanny Piggins! No one is better at firing herself out of a cannon into a tree top than her.

Support the show at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/storiesraspratt

If you enjoyed the podcast please like, review and/or subscribe!

Support the show

For merchandise use this link... https://www.cafepress.com.au/shop/raspratt

For information about live shows use this link... https://raspratt.com/live-shows/

To buy one of my books use this link... https://amzn.to/3sE3Ki2

speaker 0:   0:00
Hello and welcome to bedtime storeys with our A sprat. Today's Storey is nanny begins on the problem. Cat Nanny Pickens, Derek Samantha Michael was sunbathing in the backyard. They hadn't intended to somebody because, of course, sunbathing causes sunburn on cancer. And in Nanny Pickens case, if the sun was really strong, it made her smell a little bit like bacon. But they didn't have much choice in the matter because Nanny Pickens had accidentally locked them out of the house. When I say accidentally, it wasn't much of an accident. Nanny begins, had eaten the front door key. They were at the bakery when her key had fallen in the middle of a chocolate mousse. 90. Pickens have seen it full INGE. She knew it was her only house key, but she had instantly made the decision that it was more important for her to shove the entire chocolate mousse into her mouth immediately. Then it was for them to be able to gain access to their home. Now that they were at home, many Pickens was seeing things in a different light, but the five leaders of chocolate mousse in her stomach were allowing her to be philosophical. So they were all lying on the lawn in the backyard, taking a nap while she decided what to do next. She was strongly leaning towards just kicking the door ing. It was a TTE this point that they heard the front doorbell ring. Somebody let them in, mumble 90 Pickens. How could we let someone else in? Asked Eric. We're not in ourselves. It would be rude not to let them in, said Nanny opinions, opening one eye. Why don't we just go around to the front of the house and say hello? Suggested Samantha. Would I have to stand up as many begins? Well, we're not carrying you, said Michael. Then I'd rather stay here, said many begins closing her eye again. What if it's a chocolate mousse salesman come to give us free samples are Samantha. She knew how to motivate, and Nanny Nanny Pickens sprang to the trotters and sprinted around the house In World Record time, the Children hurried after her. If it was a chocolate mousse salesmen, they didn't want to miss out either. But as they skidded around the side of the house and cited who it was at the front door they all immediately came to a halt, which involves slamming into the back of many pigeons because she had slammed the hole First. Standing at the front door were two men wearing high visibility work clothes, the type of thing you see warm by builders and council employees, but not the type of thing warned by Daughter Door Most salesman. Hello, said Nanny begins, which was charitable because her first impulse had been to demand. Where's my moose? The men immediately whipped off their hard hats as a mark of respect they had been told, warned about many begins anew. She should be treated with great dignity. Good morning, Nanny Pickens, said the man in bright yellow. We're so glad you're home. We were wondering if you could help us help you do what? Ask many begins suspiciously. I'm happy to help you build a rocket or liberate 1/3 World country from dictatorship. But I absolutely refuse to teach you my baking secrets. A peak must maintain her mystique. Oh, it's not that many, Pickens said. The man in bright Orange. We've got a problem with the cat on. We were told that you were the lady. I mean the pig. I mean, I mean the lady pig to see really, said Nanny Pickens. Cats aren't usually my area of expertise. The problem with this cats at the man in yellow is that it's up a tree. They often are suddenly begins, not in wisely. Yeah, but this car is an environmentalist, and she's climbed up a tree. We've got to cut down, said the man in Orange. Many Pickens bristled. Why on earth would I help you cut down a tree? Trees are beautiful and magnificent, Yeah, but this one's brought into the corps, said the man in Orange. It could fall down on someone at a moments notice on its got giant seed pods that drop on people's heads, said the man in yellow. One clocked an old lady just last week, and it's right in the middle of the building sites of the man in Orange built inside for what? Ask any pigeons. The new marshmallow factory, said the man in yellow. Why didn't you say so earlier? Said nanny begins. This cat must be brought down immediately. The problem is, it's a very high trees at the man in orange. That's why we've come to see you, said the man in yellow, because it's rotten. It's too dangerous for anybody to climb. So we were hoping you could blast yourself up there with a cannon. Everyone knows you're the world's greatest flying pigs at the man in Orange. It's true, agreed 90 Pickens. She was an honest pig, but what do you expect any begins to do once he's at the top of the tree? Ask Derek. Do you want to wrestle with the cat? Asked Michael. She's very good at wrestling. That's true as well, agreed 90 Pickens. In fact, I have my hot pink wrestling. Leah, tight on right now under this periwinkle blue twin set nanny pickin started to remove her cardigan. Oh, no, nothing like that, said the man in yellow. Occupation. Health and safety rules won't allow you to do wrestling. They don't allow wrestling, but they do allow you to blast a pig out of a cannon. Are some upper? They don't have any written rules about pigs and cannons. Explain the man in orange. Let's go and have a look. Then, said Nanny Higgins. When they arrived in any Pickens could see why the builders had called on her for help. It was an extremely tall tree, and he looked sick with brown, drooping leaves and bedraggled branches. So where is this cat? Asked Nanny Pickens. She tilted her head right back, trying to see the top of the tree up there, said the foreman in charge. She's too far up the tree to negotiate with, pish said. Many pigeons. Don't they teach you voice projection at building school? They teach it on Day one of the circus. The ability to yell loudly of people is a very important life skill that everyone should cultivate. Nanny begins took a step closer to the tree and demonstrated Kat, What are your demands? Go away called the cat from the top of the tree. Did you know that these workmen are going to plant 200? Freeze to replace this one holiday? Nanny Pickens. We are us a former. Yes, you are, said Nanny Pickens, firmly before yelling to the treat up again. Did you also know that if you come down immediately, you'll be given a lifetime supply of march? Mellors now hung on about that, said the foreman. Do you want this cat down or not snapping anything is OK, OK, OK, so this woman, I'm not coming down called the cat right then certainly begins. That means I'm coming up. Where's Boris? With his cannon? Here I am, Sara said Boris. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Boris, here's nanny begins brother. Here's a 10 foot tall ballet dancing bear from Russia. On this point in the storey, he was pushing a huge cannon across the building site. Goodness, May said, Nanny begins. That one is a beauty. Yes, said Boris, the artillery commander said, You have to be very careful not to use too much gunpowder or you might hit an aeroplane. Good tip. I watch out for that, said Nanny Higgins. Did you bring the butter? I better smear some all over me, so I slide out of the cannon smoothly. Yes, Hans the baker let me a whole 10 leader bucket of butter, said Boris. He even said we can keep the bucket. Such a good man said any begins. So Nanny Pickens smeared a thick layer of butter all over her twin set, which took longer than you might think, because she kept eating the butter and having to use Mohr Then, with the help of a good hard shell from Boris, she wedged herself deep inside the barrel. Would you like me to fire it? Now? Ask Boris was the only noise they could hear from deep within the cannon. What did she say? Ask Boris. I don't think she said anything, said Michael. I think she's just eating the butter again. You'd better fire it before she eats it. Also, Derek all rights and Boris cover your ears. One to go Boom. Nanny Pickens shut out in a streak of blue rocketing up into the sky. She went straight past the top of the tree and kept on hurtling towards the clouds. How much gunpowder did you use as Derek? I'm not sure, admitted Boris. I've never been very good at maths. Many begins disappeared from view for a few moments as she went up past the clouds. She's coming back, cried Michael. Nanny Pickens had burst through. A cloud on was plummeting back towards the ground. What you going to do our Samantha Grab the cat on the way down? How are they? Both survived the fall. I'm sure Nanny Pickens knows what she's doing, said Boris. I. can actually hear anything is descending now. She was whistling through the air so fast. Then came the first crunch and crash as she hit the top branches. Watch out! Cried the foreman as he grabbed the Children and pulled them back and out of the way. Several branches crashed to the ground around them, but nanny peons didn't hit the ground. She grabbed one of the top branches, luckily a comparatively healthy one, and spun around and around before plopping down right next to the cat. I can't believe she survived, said Samantha. Cats may have nine lives, said Boris, but pigs have five or 6000. Hello, Sydney begins as she straightened her skirt and crossed her legs. Trying to look as elegant and reasonable is possible for a pig who has covered in butter. And I just crashed through several tree branches. I am here to negotiate your release. What do you mean by release? Asked the tabby cat, who looked rather bedraggled and wind blown herself have been spent several hours at the top of the tree. I'm not being held hostage, No, agreed 90 Pickens. But the tree is. What would it take for you to come down and allow these nice builders to reduce this dying tree. Toe would ships nothing. Cried the cat. I won't do it. I won't come down. Nanny Pickens, Not it. I admire an animal with principles. But have you thought this through? You're a long way up this tree. Did you bring supplies? Did you bring water? Did you bring a woolly cardigan? Because it's going to get cold tonight. I didn't bring anything. Whaled. The cat really asked. Only begins fairly impetuous. But even I would not climb a tree like this without bringing along a chocolate bar for sustenance. I know. Have you arrange with a local baker to do an airdrop? Many Pickens looked up at the sky to see if there any approaching helicopters. I haven't made any arrangements at all. Sub the cat then. This is a very poorly thought through protests at any begins. I suppose Santa might drop something off for you when he flies by. But it's months until Christmas. This isn't an environmental protest. Whisper the cat. I just said that to the builders because I hoped it would make them go away. You're not protest in certain any begins. Then why are you up here? I was chasing a burg. Wept the cat. You've got to understand that when I chase a bird, I lose my mind. I become totally consumed with the idea of sticking that delicious, delectable bird in my mouth. I entirely understand, certainly begins. I feel the same way about chocolate. So when the bird flew up into this tree, I just followed it without thinking, continued the cat. The bird went up. Then up on I followed higher and higher. When I got to the top, the Burgess flew off into the sky. He was only then I realised I was 50 metres off the ground. Well, why don't you just climb down again? Asked many Higgins. Because I'm a cad, said the cat. I think we're all aware of that, said any begins. No, I mean I have cat claws of the cat. Most cats do, said nanny begins, but cat claws only hook one way, explained the cat so they can hook into bark and pull me up. But if I turn around and try to go down, they just drop out on by fall and you don't want to do that Nanny Pickens had to cheque because she had often fallen much further than 50 metres, with no noticeable health problems. But she had excellent bone density dude or the dairy food chocolate in her diet. I just want to be at home on my owner's lap in front of the fire, sticking my claws into their leg every time they try to turn the page of that book, something cat. I can see how that would be fun music, any pigeons, although she was imagining sticking something much sharper and more painful into Mr Green's thighs, perhaps a combat obscure Never mind. I know how we can get you down. Let me have a word with the builders Nanny begins lean forwards and called down builders. I need you to bring me Ah, lifetime supply of marshmallows immediately. Now producing a lifetime supply of marshmallows at short notice is not actually is easy, as you might think, but the builders were resourceful men on the marshmallow. Manufacturers really wanted their new factory built, So just 40 minutes later, a huge articulated truck pulled into the building site. Where do you want? Um, the foreman, called up to 90 begins just dump them at the base of the true yelled nanny begins. It's not like Nanny Pickens to purposely dropped food on the floor, said Boris. The truck was unloaded, and soon there was a mountain of marshmallows. Sitting at the base was a very pretty sight. The marshmallows were a selection of white and pink. They look soft and fluffy and delicious. Yum, said Michael. How a marshmallow is going to help me get out of the tree? Asked the cat. Do you trust me? Asked any begins. No, said the cat. Very wise said Any begins. Never trust circus folk. With that, she crashed tackled a cat, knocking them both out of the tree screen. The cat? Yes, yelled Nanny begins. They plummeted down, smashing through the dead branches and wilted leaves before buying. They hit the marshmallows, sprang back up again on landed on a branch 30 metres off the ground. Oh, dear, said nanny begins. That didn't work quite as well as I hoped it would. I thought we would land on the marsh Miller's. We could eat a few 1000 age, then we could get on with our days. I didn't expect us to bounce tried to kill Mai, wailed the cat. No, I tried to get you out of a tree, said Nanny begins. Death was only one of the many possible outcomes. We are a lot closer to the ground now. We're still 30 metres from the ground, exclaimed the cat. True said in any begins, we'll just have to jump again. No, quite the cat. You're quite right, said in any begins, we'll just bounce up here again. We need to remove some of the marshmallows. Many because leaned over and called out to Boris. Boris. I needed to eat half the marshmallows. Really, said Boris. There are quite a lot there. Ah, lifetime supply. In fact, it's only a lifetime supply for cat, said Nanny Pickens. That's just a light snack for a healthy growing bear with an active lifestyle. Boris blushed at the compliment. I'll do my best, said Boris. He leapt into the pile of marshmallows, completely disappearing beneath the white and pink sugar puffs. The Children Khun, see what he was doing, but they could hear it. There were the low, guttural sounds of a fully grown Kodiak bear devouring his food. Don called Boris, eventually, thank you called nanny begins before turning to the cat right? Time to jump again, But I don't want to whale the cat. Of course, you don't suddenly begins as she launched herself of the cap, knocking her out of the tree. And so their afternoon continued, Boris would eat the marshmallows. Then Nanny Pickens would knock the cat off a branch. 90 pickers in the cat would bounce back up, but slightly lower each time on the cycle continued until at last, Nanny pickings in the Cat was sitting on just 1/2 a dozen marshmallows on the ground. Boris, meanwhile, had collapsed into a sugar induced coma. His favourite type of coming to fall into the team of builders stood around staring at many begins. In all, this is the part where you say thank you prompted many begins. Thank you, said the former. Obviously, you'll want to pay me for my hard work continued. Any begins. We will set the former out, he yelled. Isn't any Pickens gave him stamp on the foot? Oh, yes, of course we will. I will accept payment in the form off. Ah, lifetime supply of marshmallows and outside any Pickens. But we've already given you one lifetime supply of marshmallows protesting the former, but I didn't get to eat them, said in any Figgins. Come to think of it, neither did the cat. So you are to lifetime supplies. Oh, I'm not sure, said the foreman. Really? Said Nanny begins narrow in her eyes. That's fine. It would be no trouble for me to use the cannon to put this cat back in the tree. Well, cried the cat. We'll get it here immediately, cried the former as he ran off to call his employer the end. Thank you for listening to support this podcast. Just go to your local bookstore. Favourite online Bookseller on by a book by May are a sprat. There's lots to choose from. Across The Nanny begins Friday. Barnes and Pesky Kids. Siri's Thank you for listening. See you next time.

People on this episode

Podcasts we love

Check out these other fine podcasts recommended by us, not an algorithm.

Real Stories with Random Writers Artwork

Real Stories with Random Writers

R.A. Spratt, Jacqueline Harvey & Tim Harris